


The Swan Princess

by hopeduckling13



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), The Selection Series - Kiera Cass
Genre: F/M, Royalty, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2018-12-30 11:11:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 47
Words: 45,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12107472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeduckling13/pseuds/hopeduckling13
Summary: The evil queen and her friends,  the queens of darkness, threaten Misthaven. In hope of calming their people,  Queen Snow and King David force their daughter Emma to look for a husand. She hates the idea. Her best friend Killian stands by her and always comforts her. But soon they realize that maybe their friendship is supposed to be more than it is.





	1. Chapter 1

**Emma's POV**

One moment there was total silence and then suddenly there was a loud ringing in my ears. It just wouldn't shut up. That's when I realized, that the ringing was my damned alarm clock.

I hate mornings and getting up, so the alarm clock and its ringing were my least favorite things in the whole wide world. In all the realms actually.

Another banner day to survive.

It's not like my life sucked, but I can't really say, that I'm the happiest person. I am the princess of Misthaven, a kingdom of the Enchanted Forest. My parents are Queen Snow White and King David or Charming as my mom refers to him.

For most people that sounds like the perfect life, but they're wrong.

Sometimes I just think, that I wasn't made to be a princess or the future queen of Misthaven. I want to see the world and have adventures, but I can't because most of the time I'm stuck in this castle my parents call home. They don't let me leave that often and if they do, I'm escorted by at least ten guards.

It's not, that they don't trust me. The do trust me, but they're also worried about me. Misthaven isn't the safest place and they don't want to lose me. They keep me close because they love me.

Suddenly the ringing of my least favorite pal stops and I slowly open my eyes. It's far too bright in the room, so at first I can't see anything, but as soon as my eyes adjust to the light, I'm greeted by my maid Rose, who obviously shut up the little demon.

Rose: “Good morning, Your Highness.”

She smiles softly and sets down my breakfast on a nearby table. It's my usual: pancakes and hot cocoa with cinnamon.

Rose: “Did you sleep well?”

I groan, signalizing that the night wasn't nearly long enough. But it's not that that's anything new. I never get much sleep as the future queen. I always have lots of work to do. Oh, how I dread it.

Emma: “Good morning, Rose. And I told you at least a thousand times to call me Emma.”

I hate to be called 'Your Highness' or 'Princess' by everyone. I'm just a normal person. I don't need to be addressed specially.

Rose: “I'm sorry, Your- Emma. It's just- habits die hard.”

I nod and smile at her.

Rose: “Can I help you with anything? Or bring you anything?”

Emma: “No, Rose. Go and have breakfast yourself. I'm fine.”

If I'm being honest, I wouldn't need her help ever. But my mother insists, that I have a maid. She says it's standard.

Rose leaves the room with a nod and I get up. I go to the bathroom and change into a white sweater and black pants. I know it will upset my mother, if she sees my outfit, but I don't care. I hate uncomfortable dresses.

Then I go to the small table and have breakfast. The pancakes are really delicious. No wonder they're my favorite food. 

Right after I finish the pancakes and my hot cocoa, there is a firm knock on my door. I open it and a guard looks down at me. I open the door wider.

Guard: “Your Highness, your parents are asking for your presence. They are expecting you in their office as soon as possible. I'm here to escort you there.”

Surprise, surprise. They sent me a babysitter once again. I really don't need one. I can take care of myself. Sometimes I fear, that they mix me and my little brother up. They really shouldn't make that mistake though. We don't really look alike. I mean he's a baby and I'm almost an adult. Also I look more like my mother, while my brother is a mini version of my dad.

I nod to the guard and we start walking to my parents office. It's not like I could convince him not to babysit me. It's tragic though, that my parents won't even let me walk around my own palace alone.

Emma: “So why do my parents want to see me? Is there a problem? Another threat from Regina and the Queens of Darkness?”

He should know this. He's my parents main guard. He's always with them or me.

Guard: “I don't know. They didn't say anything to me, except, that they want to talk to you, Your Highness.”

I don't fight the guards on calling me that. It wouldn't bring anything since they basically only answer to my parents.

With Rose it bothers me more because we're the same age and we are kinda friends. She doesn't need to act so formal all the time. I'm not better then her. We're both just human beings.

Eventually we reach my parents office and the guard holds the door open for me. I enter the room and he closes the door right after me.

Snowing: “Good morning, Emma.”

My parents say this at the same time, so I return the greeting and hug them both at the same time. I love our family hugs. Only my little brother is currently not here.

Snow: Do you want a cupcake, Emma? We asked the chef to make your favorites.”

That is suspicious. Why do they have my favorite cupcakes? Do they need to ask me for a favor or are they just being nice?

Emma: Thanks. What did you want to talk to me about?”

I take a cupcake and smell on it. It's indeed my favorite flavor...cinnamon.

David: “Emma as you know Regina and her friends are threatening the kingdom.”

Of course I know. It's all anyone talks about in the kingdom. Everyone is worried even though they haven't lived up to any of their threats. I'm starting to wonder, if they are only bluffing.

The reason for the threats is stupid too, but it's not like anyone ever said, that Regina is smart. They threaten us just because Regina thinks, that my mom ruined her life by telling a secret. I believe, that everything is Regina's fault and she's just looking for someone to blame. I mean who is dumb enough to trust a ten-year-old with a life threatening secret?

David: “Well, all the threats they make, scare the people in our kingdom.”

Emma: “They should be scared. Sometimes fear is good. Regina and the Queens of Darkness are powerful. They could destroy us in a second with a snip of their finger. And they are capable of doing that. They're not like us. They're evil and twisted. They're villains.”

Snow: “Exactly. That's what we were thinking about too. But even though this fear might be good for them and prepare them, we can't let them be too scared. The people need hope.”

Emma: “Hope?! But you know, that one day Regina will attack anyway. So why do you want our people to believe in a lie?”

Sure my mom always believes in hope and optimism, but this still confuses me. A lot.

Snow: "Because that is the only way they will still have a little joy in their lives. Also we shouldn’t give Regina the satisfaction of being afraid of her and the Queens of Darkness. Hope is a very powerful thing, Emma."

Why does she have to be so much of an optimist. My father too. How can Mr. and Mrs. Optimistic be my parents? I've never been optimistic and I will never be.

Emma: "So how do you want to give the people hope?"

David: "Well, that's where you come in."

Now I'm worried. What are they planning? They don't look happy, so how am I supposed to be happy about it?

David: "Look, Emma, you are already 18, so we thought it is a good idea for you to host a Selection and get married."

 


	2. 2

**Emma's POV**

David: "Look, Emma, you are already 18, so we thought it is a good idea for you to host a Selection and get married."

What the hell?! They can't just do this to me! I thought they loved me, so they shouldn't even consider something like this.

A Selection is terrible. There are 35 chosen randomly boys and they live at the palace for weeks or months until I eventually choose one of them as my future husband, followed by a wedding.

Emma: "What?! You swore you would never do that to me!"

I'm very angry and run out of the room, slamming the door behind me.

In the hallway are several guards, who ask to escort me somewhere, but I just ignore them. Right now I have no time for politeness. I'm freaking mad at my parents. I loved them and this is how they repay me. They betray me like this. It feels like I don't even know them anymore.

When I was little kid they always told me, that they want me to find true love one day. And now they want to force me into an arranged marriage?!

As soon as I reach my room, I storm into it. I slam the door shut behind me immediately and throw myself into my bed. I take my pillow and scream into it. Tears stream down my face and I begin to sob uncontrollably. That somehow always happens when I'm angry.

Only thirty seconds later Rose runs into my room without knocking, which is unusual for her. Very unusual. She must be very worried.

As soon as she spots me, she sits down next to me on the bed and looks down at me.

Rose: "Emma, are you okay?"

Is she kidding right now? Do I look okay?!

Rose: "What happened?"

Emma: "I don't wanna talk about it."

I say while I wipe my tears away. I can't act weak in front of other people. They would only pity me then and I'd hate that. I know myself, that I'm miserable. I don't need other people telling me or them acting like some psychologist. I can handle my pain alone. I don't need people making it worse.

Rose: "You sure? Talking about problems can make you feel better sometimes. I can listen. Maybe I can even fix your problems for you."

She says that all the time. Can she please not right now?!

Emma: "JUST GO AWAY! I WANNA BE ALONE!"

I've never snapped at her this way. It has an effects on her since she instantly gets off my bed and walks out of my room with a pained expression on her face.

I really didn't mean to hurt her. She was just trying to help, but I guess I'm not good at trusting people. Especially when I’m upset. That’s when I start to lose all trust in basically anyone.

I don't know how long I lie in my bed, crying, until I hear a soft knock on my window. I ignore it since I'm still not ready to face reality again.   
The person on the window doesn't like being ignored though. The knocking gets more intense, so I look up and am pleasantly surprised.

Killian Jones. My best friend for forever.

It's not actually a big surprise though. Killian just doesn't know how to use a door. He's always climbing onto my balcony and using my window as an entryway into my room.

Emma: "Hey. You do know we have a door, right? And that it's always open for you?"

I love to tease him about this. He always smirks right back at me and starts to blush faintly.

Emma: "Or don't you know what a door is? I mean I already know you're not the smartest, so-"

He smirks his infamous smirk and raises one eyebrow.

Killian: "I am smart. The smartest, actually. Why would I use your front door, when it's so much more fun to climb up your balcony and use your window."

I smile brightly at him and open to window to let him in. As soon as he enters my room I throw my arms around him. This is exactly what I needed right now. My best friend and his strong arms wrapped around me. They always make me feel safe.

Killian: "So...what's wrong? I came here as soon as Rose told me you were crying. Do I need to be worried? Do I need to punch someone for you?"

We loosen our embrace to look at each other, but he doesn't let go of me completely. He still holds me close to him.

Tears form in my eyes instantly and he hugs me tighter again, running his hand through my blond curls.

Killian: "If you don't want to talk about it, it's okay. If you change your mind though, I'll be right here. Always."

Emma: "Can we just not talk for a few minutes. I need some time to sort out my thoughts. And with you being here, that's easier than when I'm all alone."

He wipes the tears from my cheeks with his thumb and nods.   
I take his hand and lead him to my bed. We both lie down next to each other. I put my head on his chest and he puts his arms around me, holding me close.

It's comfortable to just lie here with Killian, listening to his heartbeat. The silence isn't uncomfortable at all.

It doesn't take me long to fall asleep in Killian's arms, dreaming of a life without all the crap I live with.


	3. Chapters 3

Emma's POV

I wake up and the first thing I notice is someone softly stroking my hair. Then I notice the scent of my best friend under me. He smells like the ocean. I really love his smell. It's my favorite thing in the world. Or his smile. I can't quite choose. I just love everything about him.

I left my head slowly and smile at him. He kisses my forehead lightly.

Killian: "Did you sleep well?"

I nod and lie down on his chest again, snuggling closer into him, if that's even possible.

The world just seems so peaceful at the moment. I don't want it to ever end. It's like Killian and I are the only persons, that exist. We're all alone without anyone wanting to harm us, but then reality hits me like lightning and I remember my parents and their plan to give our people hope.

Emma: "My parents want to force me into marrying someone."

It's hardly a whisper. All my anger is gone when I'm around Killian. Now I'm just scared, that my parents will get what they want. Around Killian I allow myself to be vulnerable.

Killian keeps quiet and tightens his embrace.

Emma: "Our people are scared because of Reginas threats and my parents think it's the best way to give them hope. They want me to host a Selection."

Killian: "What do you think about this?"

He already knows that. I can hear it in his voice. There's pity and a little anger. It doesn't bother me when Killian gets protective over me. It just bother me with everyone else. It's actually nice when someone always puts you first without being forced to do it because I'm the princess.

With Killian I feel like a normal person. With him I can be myself without getting judged for it. He accepts me for who I am.

Emma: "I just stormed out of their office and slammed the doors. I was so angry at them. They promised, that they would never do this."

Killian runs his hand through my hair again and I look up at him. He seems to be very worried about me.

Emma: "It's just so unfair, you know. They always told me, that they wanted me to find a love like theirs and now they're taking that away from me. I always thought, I'd marry for love."

Killian: "Is there someone you love? Did I miss something? Then you should tell them. Maybe it would change their mind. The people would still get a wedding. That should be enough hope."

Emma: "There is no one. If there would be, I'd tell you. You're my best friend. I tell you everything. Is there something you're hiding from me?"

I raise my eyebrow, trying to mimic him and I'm probably failing miserably.

Emma: "And don't forget my superpower. I know when you're lying to me."

Killian: "There is no one for me either. Seriously. We were talking about you anyway. Not about me."

Emma: "But talking about you is so much easier. Also don't you think I'd tell you if there was someone? I would've told my parents then. You can't seriously believe I'd rather marry a total stranger than someone I actually love."

Killian: "Maybe you didn't tell me and your parents because you want to keep it a secret."

He smirks at me and that tells me, that he knows well enough that there isn't anyone. He just wants to annoy me, so I playfully hit him.

Killian: "Oww."

Emma: "Come on. Don't be a baby. I didn't hit you enough for it to hurt. I'd never do that. I'd never hurt you."

Killian: "It did hurt. Maybe you should kiss it better."

I scoff. I like his flirty personality. It's quite funny.

Emma: "In your dreams, Jones."

He pouts at me, but I won't fall for that. We can't get everything we want.

Killian: "Okay. Then don't. If you really want your best friend in the whole universe to be in pain, which could lead to his death...then so be it."

I roll my eyes at him and lean near to his ear, which I hit earlier and whisper into it.

Emma: "You want me to fall for that? Dream on. You should really try harder next time."

He sighs and I chuckle.

Killian: "Maybe you should talk to your parents again. They might change their minds."

I just shake my head slowly. I know his heart is in the right place, but this won't work. My parents made up their mind. I could see it in their eyes as they told me about their plan.

Emma: "I don't think so. You should have seen them when they told me. They seemed...thrilled. At least my mother. I almost think, that they stopped loving me. They are leaders and love their people just as much as they love me. They live under the delusion you have to make all the sacrifices for the citizens, but I don't want that. I don't want to marry a total stranger."

I'm close to crying again and Killian looks at me with a sad expression, but then his face changes like he found the perfect escape. Maybe he did.

Killian: "Maybe we should get married then. Your parents are just doing this to make the people happy as far as I understood, so they won't care who you marry, just that you marry someone."

Emma: "No! Maybe I have to make sacrifices for my people, but you don't. I care too much about you to drag you into all of this."

I sigh and hug him. His idea is sweet. I appreciate, that he wants to help me, but I can't do this to him. He deserves better than this.

Emma: "I want you to be happy and find true love. You can't do that when you're with me. I can't put you under that burden. Please. If one of us can't marry for love, at least the other can."

Killian: "But I don't care about my own happiness and finding true love as long as I can be with you and protect you. There will probably be a lot weird guys in this Selection thing. I want to protect you from them. I want to make sure you'll be okay. Please let me help you."

I pull away from our hug and smile sadly at him.

Emma: "I appreciate, that you care so much about me, but I can't let you do this. It's my problem, so I'm the one who has to fix it. It's not your burden, so stay away from it. I'll be fine as long as you are okay."

A single tear streams down my face and once again he's the one to wipe it away. He once said, that it's because he doesn't like to see me cry. It makes him sad too and breaks him a little each time.

Killian: "Okay. But promise me to talk to your parents once again. I can come with you. Maybe we can change their minds. Together."

I smile at him, but shake my head.

Emma: "I can talk to them alone. I'll update you as soon as I'm done talking to them. Okay?"

Killian: "Okay."

We get up from the bed and he goes to my window. He turns to me and hugs me once again while kissing my forehead. Then he climbs out of my window and I watch him leave.


	4. Chapter 4

 

  
As soon as Killian leaves I go back to my bed and lie down again for a few minutes. Then I remember, that I promised him to talk to my parents, so that's what I have to do now. I'd never break a promise to Killian. I couldn't live with betraying him and that's what breaking a promise to him would feel like.

So I get up and leave my room. There are guards once again, who ask to escort me, but as usual I say no. I don't need other people's help to find my parents office. I'm not a little kid, which gets lost all the time.

When I reach their office I softly knock on the door. After only a few seconds I hear my day saying 'yes', so I enter the room. When my parents see me they seem relieved and angry at the same time.

Snow: "Emma, you came back. We were worried you'd never want to see us again. Please sit down. I think we need to talk. We know it's a lot for you to take in, but I promise you, you'll change your mind about the selection. Its not that bad. You still get to choose your future husband. It's not like we just suggest you one guy and you have to marry him. There will be 35 guys. And under them there will be at least one person, you'll love. You don't have to be scared. In the end everything will work out just fine"

I sigh and roll my eyes at my mother's hope speech, preparing to say what I came here to say.

Emma: "Mom, dad, first I want to say, that I'm sorry, that I stormed out of the room earlier. I was just surprised and scared, I'm sure you can understand that."

They both nod. My dad instantly takes my hand and gives it a light squeeze, which gives me all the courage that I need.

David: "We know, sweetie. And we're sorry too. We didn't mean to scare you. We love you a lot."

Snow: "Exactly, but that doesn't change anything. You will host a Selection, Emma."

My face falls and I instantly stop holding my dad's hand. A tear escapes my eyes even though I try so hard to hold it back. I don't like it when anyone sees me break. The only person I usually show my tears and feelings to is Killian.

Snow: "Emma, please. Don't be mad at us. If there would be another way, we wouldn't make you do this. But there is nothing else we can do."

Mum says this while standing up to hug me tightly, but I don't hug her back. I just stand there, completely frozen.

Snow: "We also wouldn't do this, if we thought it's not what's best for you. Emma. We love you. Just trust us."

Trust them?! They can't be serious. They can't seriously believe, that this is what's best for me.

Emma: "I'm not so sure anymore, if you really love me. If you would, you wouldn't do this without my consent. You would look for another way to give the people hope."

David: "We do love you, Emma. And we thought of other ways for a month. There is nothing else we can do. You're our only hope."

Emma: "Why can't Neal host a Selection instead?! Maybe he wants this. I don't."

Snow: "Emma, he's only a year old. He can't marry anyone now. And we can't wait til he's your age. It would take too long. Regina could destroy us until then. The people need hope now."

Emma: "This is so unfair. You always put my brother first. You always loved him more than me. You only had him because I was never enough for you."

Every second more tears stream down my cheeks. I must look like a freaking waterfall by now. I hate them so much.

David: "That's not true, Emma. We love you both equally."

Emma: "You might love both of us, dad, but mom doesn't. She hardly ever spends any time with me since the second Neal was born. You both don't. You ignore me most of the time. The only reason you ever talk to me is when you have to ask me for a favor. Like now. If it weren't for Killian and Rose, I'd be alone all the time. You never let me leave this place, which makes me feel like a prisoner rather than your daughter. I don't even believe, that you trust me at all. I hate you."

I'm not sure if they even understood a word of my rant since I'm sobbing very hard, but I don't care. I run out of the room once again and go back to my room.

I lie back down on my bed and drink a cup of tea with Rose. She's a good friend to me and I'm grateful to have her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Emma’s POV**

The next morning I wake up early and decide to skip breakfast to visit Killian. So I sneak out of the palace before anyone notices, that I'm awake. To leave unnoticed, I use my window as an escape. Me and my best friend are far too much alike.

When I reach Killian’s house, I knock on the door and his brother Liam opens the door for me.

Liam: "Emma! It's very nice to see you."

He smiles brightly and I return the gesture and the greeting. Then we hug quickly. His embrace is similar to Killians, but not nearly as nice.

Emma: "It's good to see you too. Is Killian here?"

Liam: "No. He's not. Sorry. I suppose he went to the docks."

Typical. He always wakes up at inhuman hours and goes to the water. He's always at the docks where his ship is, whenever he isn't with me. I gave him the Jolly Rodger as a birthday present a few years ago and he loves it a lot, which makes me really happy.

Emma: "Okay. Thanks. I will go see him. Bye, Liam."

I smile at him one last time and leave for the docks.

Just as Liam predicted, Killian is there. He's sitting on a bench near the water and just watches it. I approach him quietly and whisper into his ear, while hugging him from behind.

Emma: "Hi stranger. I heard you have a nice ship. You couldn't possibly take me on an adventure with it, could you?"

My creeping up worked. Killian seems quite surprised and got shocked a little. I chuckle at that.

Killian: "I would actually, but unfortunately you scared me a bit, so I don't want to be nice to you."

He smirks his infamous smirk and stands up to face me.

Emma: "That's too bad. I don't really want to go on any other ship and I was really looking forward to be on the middle of the ocean for a while."

I fake some tears and look at Killian with a look that says: Please. Have pity on me.

He just laughs though and pulls me in for a hug. I place my head in the crook of his neck and breathe in his magnificent smell.

Killian: "It's great to see you, Swan. Maybe we could make that trip you wanted after all. I don't have anything to do anyway and I tend to get bored easily."

Emma: "I'd love that."

I smile brightly at him and he takes my hand. We enter the deck of the Jolly Rodger together. He goes to the steering wheel and begins to sail the ship out of the harbor. I just stand need the railing and watch the water or occasionally Killian. I love to watch him sail. He always seems so relaxed and happy. He deserves all the happiness in the world, which is why I refuse to marry him. We're just best friends and nothing more. We'd only make each other miserable by pretending to love each other that way. It wouldn’t be a healthy marriage.

  
After a while Killian stops steering the ship and lays anchor. No land is visible anymore. We sit down on a bench next to each other and just enjoy each others company for a few minutes, listening to the waves crashing against the ship. I lie my head on his shoulder and he puts his arm around me.

Killian: "Did you talk to your parents again?"

His voice is once again filled with worry, which makes me want to hug him and never let go. I think he hates my parents just as much as I do for planning to force me to marry someone I don't love.

Emma: "Yeah. I did."

I sigh, which causes him to get even more worried. He can probably guess, that it didn't went well by my sad voice.

Killian: "What did they say?"

He tightens his hold around my by pulling me even closer into his side. I put my arms around his stomach and snuggle close into him.

Emma: "That they are sorry for surprising me this much about it."

He sighs happily until I take the hope away from him again.

Emma: "But their apology wasn't genuine. Just seconds after that they told me, that they still think a wedding is what’s best for me. They think it will make me happy."

Killian: "I'm sorry."

He kisses me on the forehead and I look up at him with tears in my eyes. I have no idea why I always get so emotional around him.

Emma: "It’s not your fault. It’s theirs."

I fake a smile for him and kiss his cheek.

Killian: "There must be something you can do to stop all this. Something we can do. I don't want you to have to marry some stranger, that you don't love. I want you to be happy."

Emma: "I'm afraid I have no choice but to agree with their plan. You know how stubborn they are. I won't be able to change their minds."

We sit there on his ship, snuggled up in each others arms in silence for hours or it could also just be a few minutes. I have no idea. I lose all sense of time when I'm around Killian. I could spend eternity with him, sitting here.

Killian: "What if you tell them, you'll do the Selection, if you don't have to marry someone for certain. You could tell them, that you just marry someone if you're in love with one of the Selected. Then you could act like you're really trying to fall in love in front of your parents, but actually you are cruel to them and make them leave. Then you made your parents happy and you don't have to marry anyone. It's a win-win situation."

I look up at him and think this all through. The plan is insane, but it's probably the only way for me to get my happiness one day. It's the key to my freedom.

Emma: "You're a genius. I love you."

I hug him once again and it's so tight and sudden, that we fall down from the bench. Now we're lying on the floor together in each others arms. I lie on top of him and we can't stop laughing for multiple minutes. It's really starting to hurt.

After what felt like forever, we stand up and I ask him if he would accompany me home for lunch. I don't think I can handle my parents alone anymore. They can be far too stubborn.

Killian agrees of course and he sails us back to the docks. Then we make our way towards the castle.


	6. Chapter 6

Emma’s POV

  
As soon as we walk into the castle, I see my parents, talking to a lot of guards. They seem to be very worried.

Emma: "Mom, dad? What's going on?"

I ask with a voice full of worry. I look at Killian for a split second and he seems just as confused as I am.

Did Regina do something? Did she attack while Killian and I were sailing?

When my parents turn around to me, they look relieved though and my mother starts to cry. They both run to me and hug me really tight.

Snow: "Where have you been? We were so worried you ran away from us. Are you okay? Did anyone hurt you?"

She inspects me from top to bottom, checking for any injuries.

Emma: "I'm fine, mother. I woke up early today and decided to visit Killian. We made a trip on his ship."

My dad smiles brightly and hugs me again.

David: "I'm so happy you're back home safe."

I smile right back at him even though I still don't forgive them. I probably never will, if they don't agree with Killian’s plan.

Snow: "Never do that again. You scared us both to death."

Emma: "I promise to leave a note next time or I'll tell Rose before I leave. But you don't have to worry about me. I'm fine. I can take care of myself."

Snow: "Okay. Then come to the dining room. Lunch is ready."

They both walk away and as soon as they are out of earshot I turn to Killian.

Emma: "Maybe we really should run away. Find a nice place to live. A place where I'm no princess. A place where no one knows us. A place they can't force me to marry some weirdo."

Killian: "I don't think there is such a place. They'll find us. You know your parents. They always find the ones they love and they really do love you even if it doesn't seem that way right now. But that will fade away. They will always love you. It's impossible not to love you."

I tear up a little at his little speech. He's so sweet.

He just smiles at me and kisses my forehead, pulling me into a hug.

....

When we reach the dining room my parents are already sitting there, waiting for me.

Emma: "I invited Killian to stay for lunch. I hope that's no problem.

I say that as we sit down, opposite of my parents.

David: "No. You know Killian is always welcome here."

I know that my dad secretly loves Killian just as much as I do. My mother has a little problem with him though, which is shocking since she loves basically everyone.

Killian: "Thank you, Your Majesty."

At that moment I realized how grateful I am, that he never refers to me as 'Your Highness.' I'd kill him, if he did. I'm always just Emma or Swan.

We all start to eat, but I hardly get anything off my plate. I can't concentrate on it since I'm very nervous about Killian’s idea and my parents reaction to that idea. We're going to explain it to them after lunch.

Every passing second I shake more. I hope no one notices it. By the time my parents and Killian finished their food, I was going insane. But I start to speak anyway. I need to try at least. It's my only chance.

Emma: "Mum, dad? There's something I wanted to talk to you about."

I collect myself, which doesn't work that well. I don't know how to say this. They both look at me, signalizing me to start talking. Killian takes my hand under the table and rubs small circles over it in an attempt to calm me. I give his hand a light squeeze to thank him. We don't need words to communicate. I understand well enough, that he wants to give me strength, bravery and hope. He wants to tell me 'You can do this. I believe in you.'

Emma: "It’s about the selection. I've been thinking about it."

My mum smiles brightly at that. Probably already thinking I love the idea, which I don't.

Emma: "And I had this idea. We all know I'm not fond of the selection, but under some conditions, I'm willing to do it."

My mum smiles even brighter now.

Snow: "I knew you'd end up loving the idea. Emma. I told you so. So what are your conditions?"

Emma: "That if all 35 boys are jerks, I won't have to marry anyone."

They look at each other for a moment. Silently discussing this without words, but with their eyes. I was always a little jealous of their relationship. They understand each other without having to say anything. They're open books to each other. They love each other so truly and so intensely. I wish I'd have that one day. Maybe I can even find true love, if they agree with Killian’s idea.

Then I look at Killian and he is giving me hope with his blue eyes. I always feel calm after looking at them. Even if it was just for a second.

Snow: "Okay. Sweetie. But only if you promise to make an effort. If you never even try to get to know the selected, the deal is over and you marry someone, if you like it or not."

I smile brighter than ever. It's so intense, that I almost start to cry out of happiness. Killian’s plan will work now. Soon I'll be free again. I won't marry anyone anytime soon.

Emma: "Thank you so much."

I smile at them one last time and then leave the dining room with Killian following close behind me. As soon as the door closes behind us I hug him tightly and giggle into his chest.

Emma: "Your plan will work. Thank you so much."

We stop our embrace and smile at each other like idiots. I hug him once again, too overwhelmed by my sudden happiness and kiss his cheek three times, which makes him giggle.

Killian: "I told you it would work. Perhaps gratitude is in order now."

He smirks at me and I decide to just play along.

Emma: "Yeah. That's what the 'Thank you' was for."

Killian: "Is that all it's worth it to you?"

He says while stepping closer to me and tapping a finger on his lips.

Emma: "Please you couldn't handle it."

Killian: "Perhaps you're the one who couldn't handle it."

I look at his lips for a few second and start to lean in. He looks really puzzled, but slowly starts to close his eyes. When our lips are almost touching, I pull away and whisper into his ear.

Emma: "In your dreams, Jones."

With that I leave him standing there and go back up to my room


	7. Chapter 7

**Emma’s POV**

As soon as I enter my room and close the door behind me, I slid down it to the floor. I put my head in my hands and sigh loudly.

What just happened?!

Killian and I flirt and tease each other all the time, but it was different this time. What just happened wasn't our usual banter. It was different.

I actually felt something when I leaned in. I never felt this before. What the hell was it though? What did I feel? My heartbeat sped up so much, that I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Also I felt like I'm burning up. Am I getting sick?

Okay who am I kidding? I know exactly what this was. I'm not sick or anything.

It didn't feel like our normal teasing because I didn't want it to be a tease. I wanted it to be real. I wanted to kiss him.

But I shouldn't. I shouldn't even think about it. I shouldn't want it. He is my best friend. Best friends don't kiss each other. Best friends don't even think about kissing each other.

So why did I want to kiss him? I don't understand it. It's not like I like him more than friends like each other.

This scares me a lot, if I'm being honest. I don't want to feel the way I just did. Or still do. That's why I ran away so fast. I always end up running when I'm scared because that's when my walls go up and I stop trusting the people around me. Especially myself in this situation. I was scared, that I might end up actually kissing Killian. That would've been so wrong. It would've destroyed our friendship and I can't risk losing him. He's all I have.

Suddenly I hear a knock on the door.

Emma: "Yes? Who's there?"

I hope it isn't Killian. I hope he didn't follow me. I wouldn't open the door for him since I still don't trust myself not to kiss him. I could totally see myself doing something, I'll regret later. I can't face him right now. It would be too awkward.

Rose: "It’s me. Rose."

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding and stand up to open the door for my maid. I'm happy she's here. I need a friend right now. I need someone to distract me from my thoughts.

While Rose enters my room, she smiles softly at me and we both head to the couch to sit down.

Rose: "Are you okay?"

She sounds genuinely worried, which is very sweet of her. I like our friendship since we have to spend a lot of time together. She is kinda getting paid for being around me, but I can tell, that our friendship is real. She doesn't just care about me because she has to.

Emma: "Yeah. I'm fine."

It's a lie, so I hope that Rose doesn't detect that. But my hope was misplaced. I see it in her eyes, that she knows.

Rose: "I've known you for a long time, Emma. I know when something is bothering you. You can't lie to me that easily. For being a human lie detector, you're a sorry liar."

My life would be so much easier when no one knew me at all. I'd never have to talk about my feelings and worries. That would be paradise to me.

Emma: "It’s nothing. Really. I promise."

Rose: "Okay. If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. But in case you change your mind, I'll be here. I'm a good listener, you know?"

No. No. I won't fall for that. She's trying to manipulate me. But I'm smarter than that. I won't tell her. I'm honestly far too embarrassed by it.

Rose: "Talking about your problems is sometimes half of the solution to fixing then, you know?  
Shall I get Killian here to help you?"

Emma: "No!"

I probably said that with far too much force. Rose isn't dumb, so now she knows what this problem is about. She'll never let me alone about it now. Killian and I never fight, so it must be interesting when we actually do fight.

Rose: "Is this about Killian? You seem upset about me mentioning him. Are you two okay? Did you have a fight?"

Emma: "Okay. You caught me. It is about Killian. But I can't talk to you about it. I can hardly admit it to myself."

She looks at me with sympathy and pity, which are my two least favorite things. I don't like being pitied, which is partly the reason I never talk about my problems with anyone except Killian.

Rose: "Whatever it is, I'm sorry. But I'm sure it'll be okay. You and Killian are too unbreakable to lose each other over a fight. You're also both far too stubborn to let your friendship go."

Emma: "You don't have to be sorry, Rose. There's nothing to be sorry for. It's not really anything bad or a fight. It just affects me a lot. Emotionally."

We smile at each other and Rose offers to make us some tea since she believes, that tea is the solution to anything. I'm more in the mood for a hot cocoa with cinnamon though, which makes Rose smile.

Rose: "Good to see you're better now. You always drink hot cocoa when you're happy."

Emma: "I already told you, that it wasn't that much of a problem. It's nothing sad."

Rose: "Lets make a deal then. I'll get us some hot cocoa with cinnamon while you collect yourself. When I come back, you'll tell me what's wrong."

Emma: "That's manipulation, but okay. Only because you make hot cocoa though."

We laugh in union and she leaves the room.


	8. Chapter 8

**Emma's POV**

 

We smile at each other and Rose offers to make us some tea since she believes, that tea is the solution to anything. I'm more in the mood for a hot cocoa with cinnamon though, which makes Rose smile.

Rose: "Good to see you're better now. You always drink hot cocoa when you're happy."

Emma: "I told you, that it wasn't that much of a problem. It's nothing sad."

Rose: "Let’s make a deal then. I'll get us some hot cocoa with cinnamon while you collect yourself. When I come back, you'll tell me what's wrong."

Emma: "That's manipulation, but okay. Only because you make hot cocoa though."

We laugh in union and she leaves the room.

Whenever Killian isn't around, which isn't very often, Rose can always manage to make me feel a little better. She isn't as good as my best friend at making me happy, but she's a close second. It's not even about what she says to me. It's more about knowing that someone actually cares enough about you to try to make you smile. It makes me feel less alone in this place full of people.

I know it sounds crazy to say, that I feel alone, when I'm not actually alone, but it's the truth. It can be pretty lonely here.

After a few minutes I debate what I could tell Rose. I don't want to tell her the complete truth. I'm too embarrassed by it. It's so ridiculous. Unfortunately, I can't really think of anything else. I can be such an uncreative person at times.

When Rose comes back with two steaming cups of hot cocoa with cinnamon and some cookies, I still don't have an answer. She sits down quickly and signalizes me to start talking.

Since I can't figure out a good excuse, I decide to tell her the truth. Well part of the truth anyway. I hope she won't laugh at me. I'm a bad liar, so she’d probably figure out I’m lying in a matter of seconds. I’d have to be very careful.

 

Emma: “Please don't laugh. It's kind of ridiculous and stupid...I have to do this Selection thing because my parents want to give the people hope. I hate that idea, but Killian had quite a good plan, which will make this whole thing a little better. So, after we told my parents and they agreed, I was very happy and thanked him. Being the flirt, he is, he asked me if gratitude was in order, pointing to his lips. I decided to play along and leaned in as if I would actually kiss him.”

 

Rose: “And you did, didn't you?”

 

Rose raises an eyebrow at me and smirks. She seems quite entertained by this, but not in the way, that she'll laugh at me any second. More like she actually enjoys the story and my suffering.

 

Emma: “No! Of course not!”

 

Rose’s eyebrow shots even higher and I don’t think she believes me. What the hell?! She doesn’t even believe the truth, so I really can’t lie to her. Ever.

Now I know how everyone feels about me being a human lie-detector. It must really suck to be my friend.

Emma: ”I was close to it, but no. I pulled away as soon as he closed his eyes and then I ran away.”

I take a deep breath. Until now everything was easy to admit. It was just like Killian and I always act around each other.

Emma: “I ran very fast because in that moment I was going crazy. My heart sped up and I was sweating and I really wanted to kiss him, which I shouldn't. He's my best friend and it's not like I have any feelings for him, so it shouldn't have happened.”

She pats my arms and smiles. So, I was right. She does enjoy this story. But why?

Rose: “It's okay, Emma. You're emotional because of the whole Selection thing. That's probably why this happened. Don't get too worked up about it. It's fine and if you really _don't_ feel anything for him, it won't happen again.”

That sounds promising. It’s like Rose doesn’t believe herself. She can’t think, that I actually have feeling for Killian. That’s insane and it’s never going to happen.

But I hope she was right anyway. I don't want this to ever happen again. It felt good while it lasted. Better than anything I've ever felt, but it's not worth the trouble and heartache. It would only destroy mine and Kilian’s friendship and I can't lose that.

Even if I would have feelings for him, he doesn't feel the same way. And that's the way it's supposed to be. We're not meant to be more than friends.  


	9. Chapter 9

**Killian’s POV**

It's been a week since Emma and I convinced her parents of our plan and today's the day I dread more than anything. Today the selected will be chosen.

Later at the palace there will be an urn with the name of every male in the kingdom in it and she will take 35 slips of paper out of that urn. Those will be the 35 Selected.

I already hate them. I know, that no one of them will be good enough for my best friend. She deserves to fall in love, but her parents make her host this Selection. I hate them for putting her through this. Why couldn't they have found another way to give the kingdom hope?!

I know Swan won't have to marry anyone and she probably won't thanks to the plan, but I'm still not happy with the selection. I'm worried about her. What if one of the 35 jerks decides to hurt her? Or what if her parents change their mind and make her marry one of them?

I just want her to be happy and I know that an arranged marriage wouldn't do that.

Also I can't stop thinking about our almost kiss. I know, that I shouldn't think about it. It's wrong. But I can't help it.

It's not like I love her that way, but I still wanted her to kiss me in that moment. I still do.

That's so wrong, but maybe it proves, that I do am falling in love with her.

No. No. No.

I'm not.

She's my best friend and that's all. Best friends forever.

I can't just develop feelings for her - not that I would. It would only destroy our friendship since she obviously doesn't feel anything for me. If she did, she would have kissed me.

Speaking of Emma, I should probably visit her. It's a big day for her and I'm sure she needs some mental support.

I don't care, that things have been awkward between us since the almost kiss, I just need to see her right now. She needs me just as much as I need her. I'm sure she's already going crazy because of the selection. It's hard for her because she worries just as much as I do. About the same things too. We're just so connected.

Another reason for my sudden visit is, that I'll never stop fighting for us. I won't lose her as my best friend because of some stupid almost kiss. It didn't mean anything to either of us anyway. I love her too much as my friend to lose her and I'd probably never forgive myself for letting her go.

I arrive at the castle and am now standing in front of Swan’s door. This feels so weird. I usually just use the window as an entrance.

I knock softly on the door and Rose shouts "A little moment" from inside of the room. She seems stressed, so Emma may not have time for me, but that's okay. I can wait. I just need to see her eventually.

After several minutes of just standing in front of Emma's door, it opens to reveal Rose. She looks annoyed, but also sorry. She's probably going to kick me out of the palace at any minute.

Rose: "Killian! What are you doing here? It's a busy day! You can't just hang out with Emma now. She doesn't have any time for you. She has responsibilities."

Suddenly Emma stands beside Rose in the doorway. She looks stunning in her long red dress. Her hair is partly braided and the rest is down. I must admit, that she never looked more beautiful than she does right now. That means a lot since Emma always looks great. Even when she's just wearing her pajamas.

Emma: "It's okay, Rose. He can come in and we can chat while you do my make up. I'm not eager to memorize that stupid speech I'm supposed to hold anyway. I don't like people telling me what to do and say. I'll just say what's on my mind."

Emma smiles at me and I chuckle. That's my Swan.

Then she looks back at Rose, who is facing her friend with annoyance, but also pity. She hates this whole selection idea too.

Rose: "Alright. He can stay."

Rose sighs and goes back into Emma's room. I knew she'd say yes. She's quite the fan of mine and Emma's friendship, so she won't miss a chance to see us interact.

Emma stays and hugs me tightly.

Emma: "Hi. I've missed you these past few days. We haven't really seen each other."

She looks at me with that look, that signalizes me, that she knows something is wrong. I try to think of an excuse, but that wouldn't bring me anything. Emma's a human lie detector. Lying to her never ends well. Not that I would ever lie to her, of course.

Killian: "Sorry."

She raises her eyebrow at me, but still turns around to walk back into the room. I follow her.

Rose: "Hurry up you two lovebirds. You can flirt later."

Emma glares angrily at her. If looks could kill, Rose would be long dead for that comment.

Rose: "I need to finish your make up or don't you want to look awesome?"

Emma sits down in front of the mirror with a frown on her face and a sigh.

Killian: "She doesn't need make up to cover her face. She already looks amazing."

Rose smirks as I say that. What the hell is up with her today? Did I miss something?

Emma: "Thank you, best friend. But don't even try to argue with Rose. You'll lose anyway. She's very persistent."

Emma smiles at me through the mirror and I smile right back at her.

  
...

  
We continue chatting and everything's normal, so our almost kiss didn't do any damage, which is great. I couldn't live in world without my Swan in it. I need her by my side all the time. I just love her so much.

As a guard enters the room to escort her to the selection, she has a sad expression on her face. I try to encourage her with a smile, but even I fail.

My smile probably wasn’t bright enough since I’m also quite upset right now. I’m just so sad and nervous. I don’t want her to have to host a Selection. I want to protect her from it.

As Swan exits the room I smile at her again. Normally I’d hug her to say goodbye and kiss her cheek, but I’m sure if I did this now, Rose would brutally murder me. She’d think, that I’m trying to ruin her masterpiece. Emma does look very beautiful with her dress, hair and make up, so Rose would be right about killing me.

Rose and I follow Emma and the guard and go to the palace gardens to join the audience. It’s a big one. Everyone is exited about this Selection.

Well everyone but Emma, Rose and me.

We make our way to the front and wait for my Swan to arrive on the stage.


	10. Chapter 10

**Emma's POV**

I am on my way to the ceremony now. Soon I will indirectly choose 35 boys, which will live in my castle for a while. But none of them will stay forever. I'll make them hate me whenever my parents aren't watching. I refuse to get married just now. I deserve a happy beginning one day and none of these guys is going to be that.

I'm not ready for marriage anyway. It's already weird to imagine, that soon I will date 35 boys at once. It's insane and I still can't believe, that my parents believe this to be a good idea. I don't know if I'll be able to handle the Selection. I've never even dated anyone, so I have no idea what to do, how to act. Maybe that will make them run away fast. At least I hope this will happen.

As I take the staircase, which leads up to the little stage in out palace garden, I start the feel nervous because I still don’t want the selection to happen. My hands are shaking uncontrollably and I wish, that Killian was here with me.

But for now I need to be strong without him.

I can do this.

I am Emma Swan, Princess of Misthaven, which is the northern kingdom of the Enchanted Forest. My parents are Queen Snow White and King David of Misthaven. My best friend is Killian Jones.

Today my whole life will change, but only temporarily. I am scared of that, but I can do it.

I am strong and I can cope with my fear.

I won't let it swallow me alive.

I reach the stage and go to the middle, where a small microphone stands.

The crowd erupts into cheers and clapping as soon as they see me. I'm very loved by the people. As I look through the huge audience, my eyes land on Killian. He's smiling at me and I smile back. Then he gives me a thumbs up to tell me, that I can do this. We don't need words to communicate because we just know each other very very well.

Emma: “Welcome people of Misthaven. As you know, this event is very important. You just don't know why and I'm here to tell you what is happening right now.”

Everyone cheers loudly once again and that kind of makes me happy. It means a lot to me because it proves, that they see me as a good leader. I might not want to be queen one day, but I will be anyway, so the opinion of my people is important.

Also it's just great to be loved in general. There are many kinds of love and this is one of them.

Emma: “As you know, I just turned 18 a few weeks ago and now I've decided, that I'm old enough to marry. My parents and I had the idea, that it would be nice to host a Selection in order to find myself a husband.”

Everything’s a lie, but my mother would most likely murder me, if I said what’s really on my mind.

Half of the audience applauds, but the other half looks puzzled. I'm happy, that not everyone seems to be okay with this since I'm not. I don't even know why I'm lying and using my speech cards. If I'd be honest, it would destroy any chance for my parents to make me host a Selection. They want to give their people hope after all and not upset them by forcing their future queen to marry.

Emma: “Some of you might not know, what exactly a Selection is, so I'm going to explain the concept quickly. I hope you understand everything since I can only explain it the best I can.”

I don't know that much about it honestly since I never bothered to research the topic. I never thought, that I'd have to host one.

Emma: “The tradition of a selection is very old. There was once a kingdom called Illéa in the Enchanted Forest. It was here. In this kingdom the princes always hosted a Selection to find their future wives. In the beginning of a Selection, there are in this case 35 young men living in the palace. I will get to meet them and spend time with them. Every now and then there will be eliminations. So guys I don't see a future with..."

Everyone.

Emma: "...will be eliminated. When there are just 6 boys left they won't be called the Selected anymore. They are part of the Elite then. When just 3 people are left, I will propose to someone."

The crowd applauds again and a guard brings an urn on the little stage, putting it next to me.

Emma: “In this urn are all the names of every young eligible man in this kingdom. I'll take 35 slips of paper out and every time I will call out a name. When it's your name, you are a Selected and will from tomorrow on live at the palace. You come onto the stage as soon as I call out your name. If you don't want to be a part of the Selection for whatever reasons, you can simply say 'No' and give your ticket to someone else.”

Then I begin to take slips of paper out of the urn and I call out 35 names. The Selection has just started now and I'm already sick of it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Killian's POV**

Emma actually held the speech, that she was supposed to hold - I'm impressed. I know, that if it was me, I couldn't have gone through with it. I would've just said what is on my mind, which is, that this whole thing sucks.

Emma deserves so much better than a Selection.

But I guess I can't change it. All I can do now is support her. She's the strongest person I know, so I know, she can do this. She'll be fine.

If it all gets too much, I'll just kidnap her on my ship to delay this whole thing.

Emma starts taking out the first envelope and I am really nervous. I'm that nervous, that I'm holding my breath.

I know, that my Swan won't marry either of them, but I still hope, that they're all good people. She has to spend time with them after all and I want her to be happy. Maybe it would be good, if I was a Selected. I would live in the palace and be closer to her. I could protect her from the rest even though she doesn't need protecting. Also I'd be able to spend more time with her.

Until now I never had to share her with anyone and from tomorrow on, I'll have to share her with 35 others. She'll hardly have any time for me. I don't want those 35 to waste her time, that could be spend on the Jolly Rodger with me.

She opens the first paper slip and speaks out the first name.

It's Graham Humbert.

I don't really know him that much, but he's okay. There are a lot worse boys. I still don't ship him with my best friend though. She doesn't deserve an 'okay' guy. She deserves only the best. Someone who'd go to the end of the world for her.

In other words: I don't approve of Graham.

The second Selected is Neal Cassidy.

That makes me very angry and my hand instantly turns into a fist, ready to punch the guy. I hate him more than anything and now, that he's kinda dating my best friend, I hate him even more, if that's possible. I want him dead now. He is an ass and isn't worthy of her. He better not hurt her or I'll personally dig his grave.

The third Selected is August Wayne Booth.

That's weird. Does he live here? I've never heard of him and I've never seen him anywhere either. Looks like I'll have someone to make a background check on later. You never know what shy, invisible people could be capable of. I need to know, if he's dangerous in order to keep Emma safe.

The list goes on and on and I realize more than ever, that I need to be a part of the Selection. I hope I'll get one of the last five places. I need to be close to Emma since so far, I don't approve of either of the thirty selected.

Some of them were even cowardly enough to refuse and give their ticket to others. Emma deserves someone who at least wants her and I don’t thinks these assholes do.

Emma: “Number 31...Liam Jones.”

My mouth literally falls to the ground. I feel like all of the breath is knocked out of my lungs and I can't breathe anymore. I'm literally frozen to where I stand and I'm not even capable of looking to my brother, walking to the stage and climbing up the stairs.

Did this seriously just happen?

My brother is a Selected? Why?

I mean I do love him and he is a good guy and all, but I dont want him to be with my Swan either. My best friend and my brother...that would be just gross.

I should probably want them together since I wish both of them all the happiness, but I just can't.

And what worries me even more is, that Liam had a crush on her a while back. They get along great. I don't want them to end up together though. That thought just makes me want to puke all over the huge palace gardens.

 _Stop it, Killian._ I think. _You can't be that selfish. If your brother and your best friend end up together you'll be happy for them Even if it's just pretend. Why are you so upset about this anyway? You love them both and want them to be happy, so why can't they be happy together? It shouldn't freak you out so much, you should be thrilled and now stop showing any signs of your awful thoughts. Rose is already looking weirdly at you._


	12. Chapter 12

**Emma's POV**

I'm finally back in my room and I couldn't be happier about it. The selection hasn't really started yet and it's already annoying me a lot. If I wouldn't try to make these guys hate me, one of them would be my future husband. Luckily I'll make them leave as soon as possible.

Suddenly there is a knock on my door and only a moment later Killian's head pops into my room.

Killian: “Can I come in?”

Emma: “Sure.”

I laugh because it's adorable how he tries to respect my privacy seconds after opening the door without an invitation. He knows, that he can come in here at any time. He's my best friend after all and it wouldn't bother me to spend every second of every day with him. There's really not a time, I wouldn't want to see him. Not ever. I could never hate him after all.

Unluckily I can't spend any second with him though. I have boring duties as the princess and future queen and Killian can't accompany me to all of them. Furthermore Killian has a ship to take care of and sometimes he helps his brother with his work.

Killian: “How are you, love?”

Emma: “How do you think I am?”

It's a rhetorical question and he looks sadly at me before pulling me into his arms. In my opinion this hug should last forever. It's exactly what I needed right now and he knows that. He knows me so well, that it's weird sometimes. Often I believe, that he might know me better than I know myself.

Emma: “I already hate the selection more than anything in the world. I don't know if I can still do this even though I won’t have to marry anyone. But I cant help being miserable. I don’t want this. My spare time is already limited due to being a princess. I'd rather spend any spare second with you than with these jerks.”

He laughs.

Emma: “No offense to your bother. He's not a jerk, but I'd still prefer you over him.”

His smile fades at the mention of his brother and I feel like he stops listening to me. He gets all tense too. What is this about? He was there, so it shouldn’t be new information to him.

Killian: “Right...he's one of them...”

An awkward silence fills the room. I try to say something, but I'm just too confused. What is up with him?

Not even 30 seconds later Killian excuses himself and leaves without giving me a second to process his excuse. He said he has something to do, which is the lamest excuse ever. Especially to a human lie-detector like myself.

Why did he leave? And why can't I tell what's up with him? I can read him so easily all the time, but right now...there isn't anything I know. I wish I did though. I don't want him to be upset.

Then there is another knock on my door and I'm happy and kind of relieved when Rose enters the room. I am also disappointed though since I hoped for Killian to come back.

Emma: “Hi. What are you doing here?”

Rose: “Your mother wants me to help you change for dinner with the selected. She wants you to look even more beautiful than usual. She wants you to impress the boys.”

Rose and I chuckle. This sounds so much like my mother.

Emma: “Wow. This sounds so much like mom. She's great, don't get me wrong, but her queen side is so annoying. She always wants everything to be perfect and expects me to be the best princess ever. Sometimes I wish she wasn’t the Queen, but only my mother.”

Rose: “So, speaking of the selection, what do you think of your 'boyfriends?'”

She looks all excited and teasing. Oh no. My mother got to her. Now she's just as excited. I'm going to kill my mum. I can hardly tolerate one person being excited about this. Two is too much.

Emma: “Please drop the topic. You know I hate the Selection. I want to be free and spend my spare time like I usually do. I don't want to spend it with them, going on dates and stuff like that. I have no feelings for them, that are positive and that won't change.”

Rose chuckle and I glare at her.

Emma: “What's so funny?”

Rose: “Nothing. It's just insane how much alike you and Killian are. You should have seen him during the choosing ceremony. Whenever a new guy appeared on the stage next to you, he was glaring at him with so much anger, that I was worried he might run to the stage and kill them all.”

Emma: “Then only Liam would be left now. He wouldn't kill his own brother.”

Rose: “He wasn't happy about Liam being chosen either. He didn't seem as angry as with the others though. There was a little more sadness and jealousy.”

Now it's my time to laugh.

Emma: “Sorry, but that's ridiculous. Why would Killian be jealous of his brother? Or the others? I won't stop spending time with him just because I'm supposed to get to know the selected. He's more important to me than them. I wouldn't trade my time with him for anything, no matter how mad my mum will get when she finds out, I don't spend time with the selected. And she can be quite scary when she's angry."

Rose smiles lightly at me and squeezes my shoulder before returning to my make-up.

Rose: “He knows, that you won't stop spending time with him, but he still won't get to be as close to you as them. He won't see you 24/7, so he won't get to protect you all the time. He doesn't want them near you. I don't think he'll survive your wedding day since he doesn't like the thought of you marrying. Not that he could ever stop it. He likes you a lot I think.”

Emma: “Sure he likes me a lot. I'm his best friend for a reason.”

Rose: “No, Emma. I think, that he likes you more than he's supposed to like you. He always did.”

I laugh again and make a sarcastic comment.

Emma: “Sure... He doesn't like me more than a friend, okay! He like me exactly like I’m his best friend. Not more or less. What makes you think that anyway?”

Rose: “Everything. He's always here visiting you. Whenever you have a problem and I tell him, he comes here as fast as he can, gets rid of any task he has at the moment. Also the way he looks at you...Like you're the sun and when you leave there's just darkness and misery left. Like he never wants to let you go."

I look at her in disbelief and am about to say something against this since it's the most ridiculous thing ever, but she cut me off.

Rose: "The way he acts around you in general. You know...sometimes actions speak louder than words."


	13. Chapter 13

**Killian's POV**

As soon as I arrive at home, I see Liam, who's currently packing his stuff to move to the palace, to Emma. I really don't want to see him right now. It's his fault, that I just stormed out of Emma's room after all. I feel so bad about that. I never did this before and I never thought, I'd ever do it. The worst thing is, that I didn't even give her any kind of explanation. I feel so guilty about this. That's why I didn't look back and just slammed the door shut after me.

I couldn't even handle the thought of seeing her pained face and I'm sure there was pain written all over her beautiful face. She's probably so disappointed in me. She’s probably angry at me. I could have never left when I saw her upset, so I just had to get out of there.

But when she mentioned my brother Liam, it caught me off guard. I just had to get out of there before I do something, I'll regret later. I don't have myself under control when I'm emotional or upset.

Especially not around Emma since she can read me like an open book.

I felt so jealous of my brother in that moment and I still can't explain that to myself. What the hell is wrong with me?! It's not like I consider Emma more than just my best friend. I don't want to be her boyfriend and I never did, so why does it hurt so much, when I think about her and Liam as a couple? Why do I turn into a jealous jerk?

It's not even just my brother, I feel sick whenever I think about Emma dating someone.

There's only one plausible explanation for my behavior, that makes sense.

She is my best friend and I want to protect her at all cost. If she's with someone, she could get hurt and I can't stand the thought of that happening.

Another reason for my jealousy is, that I'm so used to spending as much time with her as possible and if she had a relationship, she'd have less time for me. I'm afraid of that because she's kind of the only happiness in my life and it kills me to be apart from her.

I know that's very selfish, but I can't help it. It's my Swan we're talking about.

Liam: “Killian? Killian? KILLIAN?!”

At first I didn't realize, that my brother was talking to me until he was standing in front of me, shaking me to get my attention.

Killian: “Sorry. I was lost in thought. What's up, Liam?”

Liam: “I just wanted to talk to you before I leave to live at the palace.”

Oh no! Why does he have to mention this again? I was starting to forget it and get over it! I don't want to hear any of it. I should have just run away with Emma, so that she wouldn't have to pretend to love the Selection. We could have found happiness somewhere else. We don't need anyone but each other.

Liam: “Will you be okay here? All alone?”

Maybe I should just say no, so that he'll stay right here. Then there would be one less man in the selection, who wants to win my best friends heart. I can't risk, that she gets hurt, so less men would be great. None would be ideal. Maybe I should just kidnap all of them.

I know, that I should probably trust my brother, but I can't this time. Not when Emma's happiness is at stake. I can't let my feelings for my brother cloud my judgment. I can't even risk, that Emma will get hurt. Especially not by my brother. It might destroy mine and Emma's friendship. I might lose her trust, so I have to be sure, that Liam won't hurt her.

Killian: “Yeah, I'll be fine. Oh and about Emma, please don't hurt her or let anyone else hurt her.”

He smiles slightly at me and puts his hand on my shoulder.

Liam: “She'll be fine, brother. She is strong and she won't let anyone hurt her. You don't need to worry about her.”

Killian: “I always worry about her. It's my job as her best friend.”

Liam: “I know you do, but still I promise to do my best to protect and hopefully win her heart, little brother.”

Killian: “Younger brother!!!”

I say this with a lot of anger in my voice and I'm not sure, if that's because of the 'little brother' or because he said, that he's trying to win her heart.

Killian: “But thanks about keeping an eye on her. I know she can protect herself because she's bloody strong, but it still means a lot me, brother.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Emma's POV**

Snow: "Welcome to the palace of Misthaven. Welcome to the Selection. I hope we will all get along well and I also hope you all enjoy your time here during the Selection. I'm sure it'll be magical."

We are currently all in the dining room for dinner. We includes my parents, the selected and myself, unfortunately. I'd rather be in my room and have dinner with Rose. Or basically anyone, but the selected. This Selection will drive me mad sooner or later. Rather sooner.

David: "I expect you all to treat my daughter the best. And just so that we are clear, if you hurt my daughter, I'll kill you. It'll be slow and painful. She deserves the best. I'm not kidding and I don't understand any jokes when it comes to Emma."

I look around and am pleasantly surprised, that some of the selected seem terrified by my dad. Maybe they'll just leave out of fear now and I don't have to think about creative ways of getting rid of them. That would make the selection much shorter, which I'd love.

Emma: "Welcome."

I don't say more to seem rude. If I'd say more, it would sound fake anyway since I'm not that good of an actor.

I couldn't care less how much they enjoy the palace and a nice welcome anyway. I don't want them to be happy.

Obviously my plan to seem rude didn't work that well after all since the selected pick up their champagne to toast for me. I just sit there awkwardly on my little throne and hope for the time to speed up. I can't wait for this to be over, so that I dont have to see these idiots anymore.

I don't even know them yet and already discovered, that I hate them. None of them is Killian. We were friends at first sight.

And according to Rose we love each other, which is totally insane though. We're just friends.

Dinner passes uneventful and as soon as it ends I go back to my room. I tell my parents, that I'm exhausted  and want to sleep, so they won't make me talk further to the Selected. I tell Rose the same because I want her to leave me alone.

She'd just want to talk about Killian again and I don't want that.

It kind of hurts whenever she says, that we have feelings for each other because I wish it was true.

But unfortunately we aren't in love, so I'm stuck hosting the Selection.

When I achieved everyone leaving and am all alone in my room, I change into a more comfortable outfit and climb out the window into the gardens. There I once discovered a little trail, which leads into the village. The most important factor is, that there are no guards to stop me from going away.

I reach the village soon and am standing in front of a very familiar door in no time. I knock multiple times until Killian opens up.

I don't even wait for him to say something and just rush into his house without an invitation. He chuckles and follows me into the living room. We sit down next to each other on the sofa and I sigh loudly.

Killian: "So bad, huh?"

Emma: "You have no idea."


	15. Chapter 15

**Emma's POV**

Killian: "So how did dinner go? Besides it being awful."

Emma: "Oh you know. The usual. My mother giving hope speeches and talking about how excited she is about the Selection and how magical everything is going to be..."

Killian tried to put his arm around me, but I stop him and put some distance between us. I've come here to talk about his behavior earlier and I won't make it that easy for him. Otherwise he'll never tell me why he left.

Emma: "But I didn't come here to talk about my awful dinner, I came here to talk about you and about us. Why did you leave earlier?"

Killian: "I'm sorry for leaving, okay? I don't even know why I did it."

I raise my eyebrow at him and glare.

I don't believe him one bit. He does know why he left. He just doesn't want to tell me, which I don't understand.

We've never hidden things from each other. We've always been honest with each other.

At least I think so. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe my lie detector isn't as good as I thought it was and Killian has been lying to me at multiple occasions.

But I don't want to believe this. I want to trust him.

Emma: "Yes you do. You just don't want to tell me, but I need to know okay? I want to forgive you, but I can't do that, when you can't even trust me enough to tell me what happened. I just want to understand. I won’t judge you or anything like that.”

I can see his face shift. He seems to be panicking a lot. What the hell happened earlier, that I wasn't aware of?

I put my hand on his arm in an attempt to soothe him and he relaxes slightly.

Emma: "I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable, but I just don't understand. One minute we were fine and making jokes about the selection and then you suddenly just left. Without any explanation. I was so worried about you."

Killian: "Can we please not talk about this? You don't need to be worried about it. It's all alright."

Emma: “Was it something I did?”

That would be the only thing making sense since otherwise he wouldn’t go to such lengths to hide it from me.

What did I do?

Killian: “You didn’t do anything. Just stop talking about it.”

Emma: "I won't let this go just because you prefer lying to me. Please talk to me."

We both have tears in our eyes by now. This is so new to us. We never had a fight and now we're fighting about something so silly. I hate it, but I also want to know what's wrong with him, so I won't let go.

But he won't either, I think. Sometimes we're both too stubborn for our own good.

I get up from the couch and walk to the door.

Maybe he just needs a little push.

Emma: "If you don't want to tell me, that's okay, but I think we shouldn't see each other for while."

I get out of his house and wait for while, hoping he’ll follow me, but he doesn’t.

So, I run while tears streams down my face. I don't even know why I'm doing this. It hurts so much, but I just can't stop.

After I ran for a while I reach the docks. I always go there when I'm upset. Well I go there with Killian when I'm upset, but he isn't an option right now.

Usually, I think it is because the ocean calms me a lot and now it's because it makes me feel connected to Killian. I have to go back later and apologize. No matter if he decides to tell me the truth or not. I just can't lose him or our friendship.

I continue to watch the ocean until I suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder.


	16. Chapter 16

**Killian's POV**

As Emma runs out of my house I can feel my heart shatter into a thousand pieces. Now I'll lose her just because I couldn't control myself earlier. I never meant for that to happen. I never meant to lose her.

Earlier when she begged me to tell her the truth, I felt so bad. I've never lied to her. But I couldn't very well tell her the truth, could I?

I can't just tell her, that I left because I was insanely jealous of my brother for being part of the Selection. That would make her feel like I'm in love with her, which I'm not. I know she doesn't love me that way either, but I won't play with her heart. I won't risk to lose her trust, which I did now anyway.

I never should have lied to her. I need to apologize to her and just tell her a short version of the truth. I'll just say, that I'm scared, that Liam and her will break each other's hearts. That I don't want that to happen and I'm scared, that it might happen.

So I go to the docks because I know my Swan. She always goes there with me when she's upset, so she might be there right now.

As soon as I reach the docks I can see my Swan's blond curls shining in the moonlight. She sits on our usual bench and looks at the water.

I walk over to her and put my hand on her shoulder. I probably shouldn't have done that since I see her shake slightly.

Killian: "Sorry, Swan. I didn't mean to startle you."

Emma: "Killian?"

She turns around and looks at me. A small smile is instantly appearing on her face and she stands up to hug me. That really takes me off guard, but it doesn't take me long to return the embrace.

As she pulls away from the embrace, she signalizes me to sit down next to her and just then I notice how red and puffy her eyes are.

I'm such an idiot.

Now she cried because of me. Just because I wasn't being honest with her. I really hate myself for hurting her. I'll have to make up for that.

Emma: "I'm sorry for leaving earlier. I just...I'm worried about you and you weren't being honest with me. That freaked me out a little because I thought you were the person I could always depend on. The person who'd never lie to me."

Killian: "I know I shouldn't have lied to you. And you don't need to apologize. I'm the one who needs to do that. I was an idiot for lying to you. I didn't mean to do that."

Emma's face lights up and she hugs me again.

Emma: "I forgive you, if you forgive me?"

Killian: "You're forgiven. I'd never want to lose you. You're my best friend and we have to stick together."

She pulls me into her arms once again, but I don't return the favor. I don't think I deserve to hug her right now. I've hurt her and I should pay for that.

Swan slowly pulls away from me, but she keeps her hands on my arms as she looks at me, confusion and hurt filling her beautiful face.

I did it again. I hurt her the second time in the matter of an hour. I worried her again.

I'm such an idiot. I don't deserve to be her best friend. How the hell does she keep forgiving me?

Emma: "What is it?"

Killian: "You deserve better than me as your best friend."

Emma: "I think I'm the one making the decision of who's my best friend, so stop talking badly about your self. You're the best friend I could ever hope for."

Killian: "No. You're the world greatest best friend, love. And you were right earlier. I should've been honest with you, so, that's what I have to do now. I have to tell you the truth."


	17. Chapter 17

**Emma's POV**

  
Killian: "You're the world greatest best friend, love. And you were right earlier. I should've been honest with you, so, that's what I have to do now. I have to tell you the truth."

Finally. I didn't really expect him to tell me the truth without me demanding it once again, so this is very nice. Not that it's surprising, that I can trust him. I always knew that and I feel bad for doubting it earlier. I'm a terrible best friend, no matter what Killian thinks about that. He's wrong on it.

Emma: "Thank you. But if you don't want to tell, that's okay, you know? I don't want to force you to tell me and I'm sorry, that it seemed that way earlier. I trust you to tell me when you're ready."

Killian: "Well it's not really anything to be ready for. It's just kind of silly, so please don't laugh."

Emma: "I'd never laugh at you."

I smile brightly at him and give his arm an encouraging squeeze.

Killian: "I ran out of your room because you mentioned my brother."

Emma: "Why? You love your brother. Did I say something stupid?"

Killian: "No, love. You didn't. It was just...When you mentioned him I once again realized, that he's a selected. I hate all of them because I'm scared, that they're going to hurt you, but with my brother...I just can't hate him and I feel bad for that."

Emma: "Hey...look at me?"

When he doesn't, I take his face in my hands and make him look at me. He seems nervous, so I know there is more to come. But right now, I need to fix the first problem. I need to make him comfortable and happy again.

I need him to know that he can trust me. We're a lot alike, so I know, that he loses trust in other people when he's scared. Even in me.

Emma: "There is nothing for you to feel bad about. You should love your brother and that doesn't make you a bad friend, okay? You don't have to hate him just because he's part of the selection. You don't have to choose between us. I'd never ask you to do that."

Killian: "It's not about that..."

Emma: "Then what is it about?"

Killian: "I don't really understand it either."

I sense, that he is lying, but I won't call him out on it. I'll just have to help him. He's obviously scared to tell me, which makes me quite curious, I must admit.

Emma: "Then let me help you."

Killian: "You don't need to do that. You have enough problems of your own. I don't feel like burdening you with mine too."

Excuses and lies. When did we get like this? I could always trust him, but now I'm doubting him for the second time in an hour. What the hell is he hiding from me? It can't be that bad, can it?

Emma: "But I want to help you. You helped me with the selection more than you could ever imagine and I owe you. Even if you didn't, I'd still want to help you. I can see that whatever this is, is hurting you and all I want is for you to be happy."

The next time he speaks, it's louder like we're fighting. Also, I can tell, that he didn't mean to say it. He just blurted it out, revealing his secret to me.

Killian: "I was upset because I want to be a selected."

What -? Why -? How -?

What is he trying to say? Is he...? Was Rose right about him? About us? Is he in love with me?

No! Don't even go there, Emma. He can't be. We're just friends. Nothing more. So what else could he be implying?

Emma: "What?"

It's barely a whisper. I'm scared of his answer and suddenly I can hear his every breath. I even hear my heart ticking in my ears.

Killian: "I-I didn't mean it like that. I just... "

Emma: "You just what?"

I look into his eyes and I don't think I've ever seen them shine so brightly in the moonlight, filled with fear and nervousness.

He exhales loudly and sighs.

Killian: "When you mentioned Liam, I remembered, that he's a selected. It just made me realize, that I should be a selected. Then I could protect you and help you from the inside. I know you are strong and don't need protection, but that doesn't stop me from caring. I just want you to be safe."

Of course. That makes much more sense than my stupid worry. It's not like Killian would ever have feelings for me. We are only best friends and that's all. End of the story.

I don't even know why I thought, that he likes me anyway. It's not like I like him that way, so it shouldn't sting as much as it does. That's probably because it would be nice to be loved by someone. Not that we love each other. Not at all.

Emma: "You still get to visit me whenever you like. But you're right, it would be nice, if you were in the selection. There would be one less guy to get rid of and you could scare the remaining away with my dad."

We laugh together and everything goes back to normal.

I missed this. Us. Our uncomplicated friendship.


	18. Chapter 18

**Emma's POV**

I wake up and feel weird. Why does the castle shake? Is there an earthquake or something? Regina and the Queens of Darkness attacking us? Or something else like a dragon?

The next thing I notice is someone's bare chest touching my cheek. I must sleep on someone.

My eyes instantly shot open at that realization, but I'm relieved to see, that I wasn't kidnapped. Nor is there a catastrophe.

I'm on the Jolly Rodger and the man I'm lying on is my best friend Killian.

I try to remember how I got here, but I can't, so I decide to wait for Killian to wake up. He might know how exactly we got to his ship. The last thing I remember is sitting at the docks with him, chatting and repairing our friendship, which didn't take long since we're unbreakable.

I lie my head back down onto his chest and my hand is slowly running through his chest hair. Almost immediately after I lied back down, Killian's strong arms hugged me close to his body once again and I snuggle deep into his chest.

I could lie in his arms forever. It feels so peaceful and warm. I couldn't be more comfortable anywhere else.

...

After a few minutes pass I feel Killian begin to stir. He's slowly waking up, so I lean my head up to look at him, realizing, that his blue eyes are already open. He smiles lightly at me before kissing my temple softly.

Killian: "Good morning, love."

Emma: "Good morning to you, too."

He tightens his arms around me and we lie in silence for a while, just enjoying the moment and each other's company.

Killian: "How long have you been awake, love?"

Emma: "Only a few minutes. How did we get here anyway?"

Killian: "You fell asleep at the docks, so I carried you here, trying not to wake you. I couldn't have let you walk back to the castle in that condition, could I?"

Emma: "Thanks for letting me stay here and...thanks for the shirt."

I only realize now, that I am not wearing one of my dresses, but the shirt Killian wore yesterday. That's probably why he's topless.

Killian: "Sorry if that was overstepping boundaries, but I didn't think it would be too comfortable to sleep in your dress. And I didn't want to wake you to ask either since you looked so peaceful."

Emma: "It's okay."

He gets up from the bed, pulling me out too. He hands me my dress and I remove his shirt and give it back to him.

In that moment I realize, that I've never seen him blush that much. I wonder if he blushed that much yesterday when he undressed me for bed.

Emma: "Look who's a tomato!"

He turns away, hiding his face, while also scratching his ear and I just laugh.

Emma: "Speaking of tomatoes, what's for breakfast? I’m starving.”

Killian: "The kitchen of the Jolly isn't that big, but I'll look for some food, while you get dressed."

And then he's out of the room. I never imagined Killian to get so embarrassed about seeing me in my underwear. I chuckle at that and put on yesterday's dress.

After that I head to the small kitchen and see Killian at the tiny stove.

Killian: "I decided to make us some pancakes, if you don't mind."

Emma: "I love pancakes. You know that."

Killian: "Of course I do. What kind of best friend would I be otherwise?"

Emma: "A bad one."

He looks at me as if I offended him and I just chuckle.

Killian: "I'm not capable of being a bad best friend. No matter what I do, I'm the best friend you could ever hope for."

Emma: "Is that so?"

And there we go with our teasing again. It's pretty typical for us, I'd say. And I’m quite glad about it since it’s so much fun and I’m also very good at teasing him, so he’ll never beat me.

Emma: "I doubt it, actually."

Killian turns around fast and puts pancake dough on my nose.

Emma: "Oh you didn't just do that!"

He smiles and adds some to both of my cheeks, so I take a bag of flour, which stands on his counter, and dump it over his head. Our little food fight escalated quickly and we move on to sugar, milk and other things Killian’s kitchen provides.

By the time we're done, we're laughing so hard it hurts and I doubt there's any food left on Killian's ship


	19. Chapter 19

**Emma's POV**

After Killian and I end our little food fight, we eat the pancakes, which were already finished - the ones that are remaining anyway - and clean the kitchen, while constantly teasing each other. Then we went back to the docks.

Emma: "I should probably go back home, so that my parents won't start a search party. I actually promised them, that I won't just leave without a goodbye ever again."

Killian: "Shall I bring you to the castle?"

Emma: "No. I'll manage on my own. Also, you need a shower, Killian. Have you looked at yourself yet?"

Killian: "I could ask you the same, love."

Emma: "My mother is probably going to murder me, but then at least I won't have to participate in the Selection any longer."

He chuckles, while he shakes his head.

Killian: "I'll see you soon, then."

Emma: "Yeah. You will."

I stand on my tiptoes and put my arms around his neck, while his arms pull me closer to him by my waist. I kiss his cheeks and then make my way towards the palace.

...

As I predicted, my parents were once again in the hallway with the guards, ordering a search party.

David: "Emma. There you are. Why didn't you leave a message?"

Emma: "I'm sorry. I didn't intend to stay out all night."

Snow: "How the hell do you look? And, where were you?"

Typically, my mother. There's not a day, that she doesn't complain about my appearance.

Emma: "I was with Killian on his ship. We went to the docks together yesterday and I fell asleep. He didn't want to wake me, so he carried me to his ship and let me stay there."

Snow: "So it's him again. Didn't we already have that problem?"

Emma: "Well...that's not his fault. We were just spending some time together and sometimes I forget how much time has passed. You don't need to worry about me though. He would never let anyone hurt me. I promise it won't happen again."

Snow: "Well it certainly won't since you won't be seeing him any longer. Unless I say so."

Emma: "What?! You can't just forbid me to see my best friend!"

Snow: "Best friend? You spend far too much time together to be just friends. You should spend that amount of time with the selected. They're your boyfriends, not Killian. Don't you realize how this looks? To others it looks like you're cheating on the selected with Killian."

I can't let her do this. She won't keep me from the only person, that is keeping me sane at the moment. I don't care what I have to do to stop this.

Emma: "Please, mother. You can't just take away my best friend."

Snow: "Of course I can. I'm your mother and as long as you live under my roof, you'll follow my orders."

Emma: "Dad? Please say something. Tell her how wrong this is. Please!"

I'm literally begging them by now. I'm desperate after all. I can't lose Killian. He means so much to me.

David: "Sweetie, I'm sorry, but I think your mother is right. You can't be out there all the time. Regina and the Queens of Darkness are too dangerous. I'd rather have you here at home. Maybe Killian could visit-“

Snow: “No!”

I run away from them and I'm surprised I'm not crying. That's probably because I've cried enough lately. It's too much. There are no tears left for me to cry. I wonder how long it'll take them to break me apart. Not letting me see Killian is a good start to that. Sometimes I believe they want me to be miserable.

Suddenly the lights begin to flicker, but I just continue running until a guard stops me. He reaches for my hand, but when he touches it, he pulls away, his hand bleeding. What the hell did I do? I look at my hands and see, that they are glowing.

What the hell?!

Is that magic?!

I've never had magic, so where is it coming from now?!

Then my hand begins to shake and the guard begins to lift up. Am I doing this? Am I making him fly with my magic? How the hell do I stop this?

I tell myself, that I can stop this. That I am strong and I can control this. My magic doesn't own me and no one tells me what to do. I'm the bloody future queen of Misthaven after all.

My newfound confidence seems to control my magic since the guard falls back down onto the floor. He aches in pain, but right now I don't care.

I look down at him and he backs away. Looks like he's actually afraid of me.

Emma: "You won't tell anyone what just happened or I promise I'll find a way to hurt you. Badly."

I don't see myself actually doing that, but threatening him seems like a good idea right now. Having magic is dangerous here because many use it for evil. Like Regina and her friends.

So, no one can know, that I, Emma Swan, the heir to the throne of Misthaven, have magic. The people wouldn't care, that I can't control it, they'd think, that I use dark magic. The sentence to that is death, even for the crown princess.


	20. Chapter 20

**Emma's POV**

The next day I am woken up by Rose. The blinds are still closed, which is weird. Rose always opens them before waking me up. What changed?

Rose: "Morning. Why exactly are there guards in front of your door and window, Emma? They've never been there before. Is it because of the Selection?"

I get out of bed faster than I can think this early in the morning and run towards my window. I open the blinds and two armed guards are posted before my window. I angrily open a window and shout at them.

Emma: "What the hell are you two doing here? Go away! Now!"

Guard: "I'm sorry, Your Highness, but we can't. We are on direct order of the Queen to stand guard here and let nobody pass."

I groan and throw the window closed. The same I do for the blinds.

Emma: "This is going too far now. She's really lost her mind!"

Rose: "You're upset. What happened?"

Emma: "My mother decided, that I can't spend time with Killian anymore."

Rose: "Why?"

Emma: "She believes, that I'm cheating on the Selected with him."

Rose opens and closes her mouth multiple times. What is she thinking about? She obviously wants to say something, but she doesn't seem to know, whether she should say what is on her mind or not.

I don’t even know whether I want her to talk or not. But I can’t deny, I’m curious. Let’s just hope I won’t regret this.

Emma: "What?"

Rose: "Are you? Cheating on them with Killian?"

Typical Rose.

It’s so annoying.

I wish I never asked.

I glare at her. If looks could kill, she'd be long dead.

How can she even think that?! It's not like Killian and I act like a couple. We act like friends because that's what we are. I don't even understand why someone could think, that we're in love. But people obviously do. First Rose, then my mother, now Rose again.

They're all driving me mad!

What the hell are they all seeing? I'm surrounded by delusional people! That must be it. Because their ideas are crazy. I'd never be with Killian. Imagining it is already too gross. I can't even...

Rose: "So obviously the answer is no, but I do am curious...Why did the Queen think, that there's more to the two of you than your friendship? I mean besides the obvious chemistry and how time you spend together..."

I glare at her once again. There is no chemistry between me and Killian. They are all insane, if they truly believe all of this.

Emma: "We don't have any chemistry and she thought so because I didn't come home last night."

Rose: "Were you with Killian that night?"

Emma: "Yes. Why else would I answer your question with it otherwise?"

Rose: "So you spend the night with Killian? Interesting."

Why does she think it's interesting? It's totally normal. Killian and I are constantly spending time together. Why is everyone suddenly so bothered by it? The Selection hasn't even started yet. Well officially, but I haven't spent time with the Selected since the dinner on the first day, so I just like to pretend it hasn't started yet.

Rose: "How was it?"

This time I lose my patience with Rose, so I hit her arm a little. Can she please stop teasing me? It's so annoying. Why do we never talk about her life? It would be far easier than talking about mine. At least for me.

Emma: "It wasn't like that! I just fell asleep there and he didn't want to wake me. Nothing happened!"

Rose: "If you say so. But I don't really believe you."

Emma: "Why not?"

Rose: "Isn't it obvious? I told you before and I'm telling you now. You're in love with each other."

Emma: "No. We're not in love with each other. You're wrong."

Rose: "Am I?"

Emma: "Yes."

She is totally wrong!

Killian and I are friends. We were never even close to crossing a line. The almost kiss doesn't count because as I already said, it was only an almost kiss. Neither of us wanted it to happen. I just thought I did because I was upset about the Selection and happy at the same time because of Killian's plan. I couldn't concentrate and I wanted my confusion to stop for a minute.

That's all.

It was just an embarrassing mistake, that lead me and Killian to avoid each other for a while.

That is one more reason why it can't happen again. Our time is already limited thanks to my mother, so I won't waste the little time we have left with avoiding each other. I intend to spend as much time with Killian as possible.

Maybe I should ask my father once again to allow me to visit Killian today. He might agree with mother often, but I could see, that this pained him almost as much as it did me. Maybe he can change the Queen's mind.

I have to at least try once again.

I'm not going down without a fight.


	21. Chapter 21

**Emma's POV**

After I tried to convince Rose, that me and Killian aren't anything other than best friends – tried being the keyword here – I went downstairs to the eating room to talk to my parents. Maybe I'll succeed in making them believe, that there's nothing going on between me and Killian.

It shouldn't be too hard since I'm actually telling the truth. I don't make any of this up. I really do not love Killian. And I never will. The same goes for him since he doesn't have feelings for me either.

I knock on the door and enter as soon as my parents answer.

David: "Good morning, Emma. Did you sleep well?"

Emma: "Maybe I would've, if there weren't any guards in front of my window."

Snow: "Well that's your own fault, Emma. We can't trust you anymore. You could once again sneak out otherwise or let Killian inside. We can't take that risk."

Emma: "You act like I broke a law or something, when I actually only visited my best friend - and yes, he's my best friend. That's all we are and all we'll ever be. You don't need to worry, that I'll cheat on the Selected with him."

David: "We know that, darling, but it's what people would think. We're only preparing you for the people's rumors."

Emma: "Then let them talk. I'm sick of making sacrifices for the people. When do they make sacrifices for me? Right, they never do."

Snow: "You're forgetting, that you're doing all of this for the people. We're trying to make them hopeful and getting them to think, that their future queen is a cheater, would cause them to lose even more hope. They need to trust you."

Emma: "But why can't I just visit Killian in disguise? They wouldn't have to know. I'm good at hiding. I promise you, I wouldn't get caught by anyone. Please."

Snow: "No."

Emma: "Why? Do you hate me that much?"

David: "We don't hate you. We love you, Emma. More than anything."

Snow: "And we are your parents. We don't need to explain our decisions to you, you just have to follow our rules."

Emma: "But it's so unfair. You already make me do the Selection and now you're taking away the only happiness I have in my life right now? You can't be serious!"

David: "We only make you do the Selection because it was the last thing we could think of. Don't you think we tried all other possible things already? We're not doing this to punish you, Emma, we're doing it because we have no other choice. We'd never make you do it otherwise. We love you so much. This is hurting me as much as it hurts you."

Snow: "The Selection will be fun and magical. Believe me. You just have to open up and not dismiss it without even trying to understand. The Selected all seem to be very nice and handsome. But you won't fall in love, when you don't even try to get to know them."

I don't agree with them. There's nothing magical about the Selection. They only love it because they never had to host a Selection. They were able to find their true love without being forced to fall in love with an idiot.

They might believe, that the Selection is romantic and good because I still get to choose out of 35 men, but I don't think so. I think of the Selected as 35 loud, obnoxious, weird-smelling boys who invade my home and steal my best friend. There's nothing romantic and magical about that.

At least not in my opinion.

But this conversation wasn't pointless after all. My dad just said, that this was the only thing they can still do to help the people, which means, that they need me. They can't fix their problem without my help, so they depend on me.

That means, that I can negotiate with them. That's probably why Killian's plan worked. They can't afford to lose the Selection, so I just have to threaten to take it away from them.

Emma: "So the Selection is the only reason I can't see Killian? When it's over, I'll be able to visit him again at any time?"

David: "Yes. Of course. We don't want to make you miserable after all."

Emma: "Okay. Then I just have to end the Selection right now and I won't have to live without my best friend any longer. Thanks for the advice."

I turn around, walking slowly towards the door, while I wait for them to stop me and sure enough they do just that very quickly.

Snow: "Emma?! Stop! You can't just end the Selection. You know how much is at stake!"

Emma: "Yeah, but I don't care about the people. It's their fault after all."

Here we go, using my mother's own words against her. This is even more fun than I thought it would be.

David: "Please don't end it, Emma. We need it."

I turn around, smiling at them.

Emma: "Okay I won't,"

They exhale loudly and seem relived. But that won't last. I'm surely enough taking any hope away again soon.

Emma: "If you let me visit Killian."

David: "Okay."

Snow: "David?!"

David: "Snow, it's the only way. Do you want our daughter to be unhappy?"

Snow: "Of course not, but she can't get everything she wants."

David: "Please. Say yes. If you won't do it for our daughter, do it for me. I'm begging you. Please stop disagreeing with me. I hate it when we fight."

They exchange words with their eyes, without actually speaking to one another, and I'm praying for my father to win the argument.

Snow: "Okay. Once a week on Sundays for an hour - You'll be escorted by a guards each time. But only when you make an effort with the Selected."

This isn't ideal and it's convenient how she chose Sunday, when today's Monday, but at least I get to see Killian. I'm sure I'll find other ways to secretly meet him soon. Maybe he'll be able to help me think of ideas.

Snow: "And now go and meet the Selected officially. You'll speak five minutes with each of them."

No! How did I deserve this? I don't want to spend almost 3 hours with the idiots, but I probably shouldn't argue. Otherwise mother could change her mind about me visiting Killian on Sundays.


	22. Chapter 22

**Emma's POV**

I walk to the common room of the Selected and as soon as I enter it, they all curtsy. They're so pathetic. I hate formalities. If they knew me at all, they would know that. Proves that I mean as much to them as they mean to me.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I'm sure they aren't here for me anyway. They just want my crown and popularity and free, amazing and tasty food.

Emma: "I'll speak to each of you for five minutes now. If I find you too boring, you'll leave before the five minutes are over and go home. No one is allowed to talk more than five minutes to me. Now form a line and hurry up. I don't have all day."

They run and form a line, trying to be the first. I obviously wasn’t harsh enough or they’re just even dumber than i thought they were.

As I look at the finished line, I'm pleasantly surprised. The first in line is Liam. Just the person I wanted to talk to.

He curtsies before sitting down.

Liam: "Good morning, Your Highness."

Emma: "Stop it, Liam. I'm Emma. You know how much I hate formalities."

Liam: "Yeah. I've known you my whole life after all. It’s just for the sake of appearance.”

We know each other for as long as Killian and I have been best friends, which is basically forever. I can't remember my life without Killian in it and I'm glad about that. Life would be so boring and uninteresting.

Emma: "True. So, I actually have a favor to ask you."

Liam: "Sure. Anything. How can I be of assistance, love?"

I cringe when he calls me love. I know, that it's an accent, but I hate it when anyone calls me that. Except for Killian. I'd never be mad at him.

And he’s kind of adorable when he says it.

Not that he’d be too fond of me calling him adorable. He’d protest and tell me to take it back.

I chuckle as I picture it in my head and Liam looks at me with confusion written all over his face. I just ignore it and act like nothing ever happened.

Emma: "My mother doesn't let me see Killian anymore because she's afraid, that I'm cheating on you guys with him. So, could you write him a letter to tell him. She won't let me communicate with him."

Liam: "Of course. What shall I write in it?"

Emma: "Just that I'm not allowed to see him, except for one hour every Sunday. And tell him, that I miss and love him. He shall think of a way to get out of this whole not-being-able-to-see-each-other-thing. I'll do the same, but I can't make any promises."

Liam: "Okay, my princess."

I glare at him.

Emma: "I still hate formalities, but thank you for helping me."

Liam: "No need to thank me. I'm doing it out of selfish reasons anyway. I mean I know how much you mean to my brother and it would kill him to think, that you don't want to see him."

Then the timer on my phone goes off. Good. I managed to survive the first 'Meet & Great.'

The next three guys don't leave any impression because they're boring as hell, so I dismiss them all after just 2 minutes, which is followed by my mother's maid coming into the common room of the Selected. She informs me, that I can't dismiss everyone and my mom doesn't allow me to let anyone else go just now.

Sad. Sad, indeed.

I actually planned to kick them all out already. But at least I manager to get rid of 3 guys. Only 32 to go.

The remaining 31 'Meet & Greets' seem to go on forever, rather than five minutes each. And I ask myself once again how the hell I'm going to survive the Selection.

Especially without Killian.

Until now he was always there to keep me happy and sane, but now...

Maybe I should've agreed with Killian's plan. The one about us getting married. We might have found love together since everyone already seems to believe, that we love each other. It would have been better than the Selection and I never would've had to live without Killian. Not even a day.

I don't even know how I'm going to survive the next few days until I see Killian again. We have been so inseparable for as long as I can remember and I already miss him terribly. It's like a part of me is missing and there’s a tear in my heart the size of a skyscraper.


	23. Chapter 23

**Emma's POV**

I go back up to my room after meeting my 'boyfriends' – not that I would ever actually consider them that – and soon a maid comes into my room.

Maid: "Your Highness, His Majesty King David requests an audience."

What did I do wrong now? I was almost thinking, that I was good in there. I mean I only send 3 guys home. It might only be because I wasn't allowed to send anyone else home, but still. My parents don't know that.

I also didn’t make anyone cry, unfortunately. At least not that I’m aware of it.

But luckily, it's just my dad, so I'm going to survive this meeting. He's much nicer than my mother and I think, that he actually cares about me unlike her.

Emma: "Let him enter the room. Then you can leave."

She curtsies and opens the door wide for my father. He passes her and she closes the door behind him.

Emma: "You wanted to talk to me?"

David: "Yeah. I wanted to see how you're doing, sweetie?"

Seriously? They should stop pretending to care about me. I know they don't after all. Otherwise I wouldn't be forced to host a Selection.

Emma: "You know I'm miserable, so stop pretending to care about me."

David: "I do care about you, Emma. I tried to stop the Selection. But there was no other way. The people need hope and I couldn't stop it as soon as your mother and I thought of it. You know how she is when she made her mind up about something. She doesn't give up that easily. She's as stubborn as y – all of our family."

I smile sadly at him when I can't detect a lie. My father hardly ever lies to me and I'll just pretend, that he wasn't about to call me stubborn. Not that that would be a lie.

Emma: "Thanks by the way for earlier. I appreciate, that you tried to stop my mother, when she forbade me to see Killian."

David: "I know how much he means to you, Emma and I'm sorry, that you can't see him at the moment."

He puts his arms around me and holds me tightly, while one hand cups my head. He always does this when he hugs me and I must say, that I love it. I love him even though we have our differences, but these are mostly caused by my mother.

I can't blame my father for my mother's mistakes. He has a good heart. He'd never hurt me on purpose. Killian was right about that even though he was wrong about my mother loving me. At least I don't think, that she loves me.

David: "I had a thought...we can't let you see Killian at the moment, but that doesn't mean, that you have to go through the Selection alone. I asked your mother whether Elsa could visit you and we agreed, that it's a good thing. The two of you always have been great friends and it's usual for other monarchs to visit the kingdom during a Selection. I think you could really use a friend right now."

I hug him tightly as soon as he finishes to talk.

I haven't see Elsa in ages because we were both too busy to travel, so I'm really looking forward to it. I missed her very much and her visit might fill the hole my mother left in my heart by not letting me see Killian.

I do need a friend right now and Elsa is the perfect candidate.

Maybe she will be able to think of a way for me to see Killian, too. She's always been very smart.

And maybe then we could visit Killian together. They've always been good friends too. Spending time with both of them would be really great.

Emma: "Thank you, dad. This means a lot to me. I really don't think, I could do this on my own any longer."

David: "You can always come to me, when you need help, Emma. I don't care how busy I am, nothing is as important to me as you."

He puts one of his hands on either side of my face and I smile brightly at him.

Emma: "Thanks, but I think talking to Elsa would be easier, dad. No offence."

David: "I know. But for right now, you have to stick with me. How was it meeting the Selected?"

Emma: "I hate them, dad."

David: "Just give them enough time here to make your mother happy and then we'll kick them all out as soon as possible, okay?"

Emma: "Okay."

David: "You know, I'm not too fond of them either. I'll never love a boyfriend of yours because I don't want to lose my little girl."

Emma: "I'll always be your little girl, dad."

We hug once again and then my dad has to go back to work, unfortunately. I've really enjoyed this conversation.


	24. Chapter 24

**Killian's POV**

  
_**Monday** _

  
I sit at home, wondering whether I should visit Emma. I know, that we just saw each other, but that doesn't stop me from missing her.

Unfortunately, I can't just visit her the way I used to because of the stupid Selection. My Swan has even more responsibilities now than when she was a normal princess, who wasn't hosting a Selection.

I miss those times. Everything was easier. Those were great times.

Emma and I always hang out daily. We’d go sailing on the Jolly Rodger or just sit at the docks and talk. Even when her parents didn’t let her leave the castle, we saw each other and always had a great time.

It isn’t necessary to do something adventurous or epic when you’re with Emma. It’s enough to just talk to her or have her near by. It’s a great feeling.

I already miss her a lot again.

Suddenly there's a knock on my door, ripping me away from my thoughts. I open it and am greeted by a guard from the palace. Wow. That's new. They usually ignore me, so what changed?

Is something wrong with my Swan?

I hope not. The thought of it already makes me anxious.

Killian: "Hello?"

Guard: "Killian Jones?"

Killian: "Yes."

Guard: "I've got a letter for you from his Royal Selected Liam Jones."

I have to keep myself from rolling my eyes at that title. Not only does it not fit my brother, but it also sounds ridiculous. Why would they even call someone that?

I really understand why Swan hates titles. She gets quite angry whenever someone calls her 'Your Highness' or 'Princess.'

Well she gets angry with everyone except for me since she knows I'm only doing it to tease her. We do that a lot.

The guard hands me the letter, then he turns around and walks away.

I shut the door after him and sit down at the kitchen table, reading Liam's letter.

 

_Dear Killian,_

_I hope you're alright at home and that you don't miss me too much. I'm fine and enjoy my life in the palace, but that's not why I'm writing to you, little brother._

_Emma has asked me to do so because she wanted me to tell you, that the Queen and King decided, that you two can't see each other anymore. She's only allowed to visit you an hour every Sunday with one of the guards._

_That's about all I know._

_Sorry about this. I know how much Emma means to you and being forced to be apart from each other can't be easy for you._

_I wish I could help you, but there's not much I can do. You could however write letters to me for Emma. I'll give them to her._

_I miss you and I'll see you soon at the parade,_

_Your big brother, Liam._

 

What the hell?!

I always knew, that the Queen disliked me, but now this?! That's too much.

I have to see Emma every day. She needs me to be by her side at the moment. How am I even going to protect her from the idiots, if I'm not there?

I won't let the Queen get away with this so easily!

If she doesn't let me see Emma, I'll need to have a little chat with her. I don't care how busy she is, she can't just take away my best friend and expect me to go down without a fight.

A man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets. But I am not that kind of man. I'll always fight for my Swan and I'll fight for us.

So, I walk out of the door and head to the castle.

If the Queen is asking for trouble, that's exactly what she'll get.


	25. Chapter 25

  
**Killian's POV**

_**Monday** _

  
As soon as I arrive at the castle, a guard stops me.

Guard: "I'm sorry, Mr. Jones, but you're not allowed to visit Her Royal Highness Princess Emma - Queen's orders."

I roll my eyes and once again notices how dumb titles sound. My Swan was right all along – not that it surprises me. She is very smart after all.

Killian: "I know. I'm actually here to talk to the Queen."

Guard: "She's very busy."

Killian: "I don't care. Bring me to her. It's very important."

I glare at him and he tells me to follow him. I must be quite intimidating or the palace can't afford good guards. I wouldn't have let me pass that easily. For all they know I could be a serial killer, trying to murder the Queen.

No wonder, that I'm always so protective over Emma. If I don't protect her, then who will? The guards are losers and there could always be a situation she can't save herself from. She is very strong, but that doesn't mean, that she's invulnerable.

Maybe I should just volunteer to be a guard at the palace. Then Emma's parents couldn't keep me away from her since I would have a good alibi why I need to stay right by her side.

When we reach the palace library the guard turns to me and stops me. I get the message, he wants me to wait here and ask the Queen for permission to let me enter the library.

The guards aren't just losers, they're also pathetic because they only answer to the Queen. They should treat me with some respect. I'm the best friend of the crown princess and I'm the only reason she didn't die of boredom, yet.

The guard comes back out of the library and opens the door for me.

Guard: "The Queen will see you now."

I enter the library and the Queen instantly looks at me with anger covering her face. I never understood why she hates me so much.

Snow: "Killian? What is so important, that you keep me from work?"

Killian: "Emma -"

Snow: "It's Her Royal Highness Princess Emma for you. And there's nothing to talk about here. You and her aren't allowed to see each other except for one hour every Sunday and nothing you could say, will change that. Now go. I have more important things to do, than listen to your whining."

Killian: "This isn't over! I won't go until you let me see Emma or at least explain to me why I can't visit her anymore. You owe me at least that for taking away my best friend from me."

Snow: "I don't owe you anything, Killian. I'm your Queen and Emma's mother, so I make the demands and you two follow them. It's as simple as that. No further explanation necessary."

Killian: "Emma's an adult, you can't just tell her what to do all the time or who to spend her time with. It's not fair. She's your daughter, not your prisoner or your property. And I won't give up. I'll get to visit her every day again, I'll promise you that. I'll find a way. I won't stop fighting for her."

Snow: "Would you stop? You have to let her go. I'm doing this for her own good. Soon she's going to be married and then you can't spend time together all the time, either. She is your best friend and not your wife. She'll never be your wife, so you have to let her go and give her a chance to get to know the Selected. They're her future and not you."

This stings even though I know Emma won't marry any of the Selected. But what Snow is saying will still happen. One day she'll find her true love and they'll get married.

Then she'll spend every available second with her husband and she'll have to forget about me, about us. She won't have time for her best friend and that hurts more than I'd like to admit.

Not just the fact, that we won't see each other anymore, but also that someone will be more important to her than me. I don't ever want that to happen. I dread the day, which is so wrong. I should be thrilled about the thought of Swan finding someone she loves, but I'm not.

I don't want her to love anyone but me.

I know how selfish that sounds, but it's the truth.

I just don't understand why I feel this way because actually all I care about is Emma's happiness. It shouldn't hurt that much to realize, that I'm not her happiness, but someone else is since I'm not in love with her.

Snow: "Now go and don't come back. It'll be for the best in the end."

Killian: "NO! I won't give up on her. Please. I'll never ask you for any other favors again, if you let me see her. Please."

Snow: "No. Go home, Killian. She's not yours anymore, but the Selecteds. You don't get to love her anymore. If you wanted to marry her, you should have done so before the Selection. Now it's too late."

Killian: "Why do you assume, that I'm in love with her?"

The exact question is, why everyone assumes this...I mean first Rose and now the Queen of Misthaven.

What did I do wrong?

Snow: "You're not even denying it. Interesting."

Killian: "I never said, that I'm in love with her though."

Snow: "But you are and so is she. I'm not blind, Killian. I see the way you look at her and the way you treat her. You're always trying to protect her. Also, the reason you came here – to fight for the two of you as you called it. I'm not dumb Killian and I'm good at seeing love when it's obvious. You are in love with her, but it doesn't matter now. I gave you enough time to propose to her before the Selection. The people were however scared and it was getting worse, so I couldn't wait any longer. The two of you getting married would be a scandal now and that's the least my people need at the moment. So, I have to keep you away from each other until Emma is married to someone else. You two can't happen. Not ever. Sometimes the people are more important than the princesses heart."


	26. Chapter 26

**Emma's POV**

  
_Wednesday_

 

The day after my father visited me, is the day of the parade. It is part of the Selection and is supposed to introduce the Selected to the public. Everyone has been there when the names were chosen and all the Selected are citizens of Misthaven, so I don't really understand it. It's totally unnecessary and just another pointless plot of the torture trap also known as the Selection.

The only good thing about this is, that I might be able to see Killian there. The parade is all over town, so he can't really avoid it – not that he would.

I do really miss him.

I know how pathetic it sounds due to it only being Wednesday, but it's the truth. I don't know how I'm going to survive till Sunday to properly talk to him again.

Maybe seeing him today won't be a good thing after all because it will hurt to steal glances at him, but not being able to talk to him or to hug him. But at least I get to see him. That's all I have right now, so I'll take it.

I can't really afford to be picky at the moment. No matter how much I wish to be picky.

 

...

 

I'm standing in the gardens, waiting for the parade to start. The carriages and the horses are already there, but I can't see any of the Selected yet. Maybe they all left and I'm free from the Selection.

But apparently, I'm not since a guard approaches me, asking which Selected I want to join me in my carriage. I choose Liam because he's okay. He's the brother of Killian after all and Killian loves him, which makes me tolerate Liam.

The second person I choose is August since he seems quiet and nice, always writing in a notebook. I don't think he'll bother me during the parade.

The guard leaves again and another arrives with the Selected. He escorts me to the first carriage and helps me in, but I refuse his help out of protest and because I know how annoyed my mother would be because of it. Tradition is very important to her after all.

Not long after I sat down in the carriage, Liam and August do the same. They greet me politely and I nod softly as an answer.

The carriages begin to move as soon as all the Selected arrived and are sat in a carriage.

I look out into the crowd, which has formed at the entrance to the palace, searching for Killian. This doesn't even feel like a parade since there's no joy – not until I see Killian anyway, but I can't see him anywhere - at least there’s no joy for me.

The same can’t be said about the people, which makes me want to strangle them.

The carriages continue to the town and everywhere people are watching us. They're even more excited about all this in the middle of the town and that annoys me a lot. They yell my name in joy and throw flowers our way. The cheering at the palace was bad enough.

It's so awful, that I'm about to cause an earthquake with my magic. I can't control it, when my emotions are going crazy. But luckily, I see Killian in that moment. Our eyes lock and smiles instantly cover our whole faces. He waves at me and I'm happy for the first time this week since Monday.

Our eyes stay locked and Killian follows the carriages, not caring about the people, who are annoyed by it, so I'm distracted and don't even notice the carriage stopping until I see Killian running towards me, reaching out his arms and screaming my name. He seems very worried. And tears begin to form in his eyes.

I turn my head and realize just why he's pacing towards me.

But it's already too late.


	27. Chapter 27

**Killian's POV**

_**Wednesday** _

  
It's been two days since I visited the Queen of Misthaven. Two days of confusion.

She couldn't have been right, could she? I'm not in love with my best friend and neither is Emma in love with me. Our relationship is completely platonic and it's always been that way nor will it ever change.

The Queen's explanation also didn't make any sense.

Just because I care about my Swan and protect her, doesn't prove that I'm in love with her. Neither does me wanting to visit her every day. You don't just visit someone you're in love with. Friends hang out and we're best friends, so it's normal, that we want to see each other every day.

Especially during those dark times caused by the Selection.

Speaking of the devil, today is the parade for the Selection to introduce the Selected to the public. I hate it because Emma probably dreads this, but I'm still excited to see her. Stealing glances at her is all I've got right now, so it needs to be enough.

Maybe I'll be lucky and the carriage will break, so I might be able to chat with her, to catch up.

I miss her terribly even though we just saw each other on Sunday. This is going to be a long week without her.

Why did I never bother to make any friends besides my Swan again? Oh, right. Because I never needed them. All I ever needed was Emma. We used to spend basically most of every day together.

This is all her mother's fault. I'm sure Dave tried to change her mind. He likes me after all, so he wouldn't try to keep me and his daughter apart.

He wouldn't agree with her former plan, either though because I don't think he's too fond of the idea of Emma marrying someone. Not even if it was me.

If only Emma's parents knew, that I actually did propose to her – she just didn't say yes because she wanted us to find true love and not to be trapped with each other.

I'm interrupted from my thoughts by people cheering around me, so I quickly look up and see the first carriage arrive. My Swan is on it with the strange guy, who's new here, and Liam. But I hardly pay attention to them since I'm far too captivated by Emma.

She looks as beautiful as usual and she's looking for something in the crowd. As soon as our eyes meet, she smiles brightly. It's the kind of smile, that reaches her eyes and makes them shine in a very nice green. I must admit, that Emma has the most beautiful eyes ever and I'm not saying that because they're my favorite color.

They might be the reason, why green is my favorite color.

I continue to stare at my Swan, our gazes never breaking contact, until I see a fireball flying her way. That sends me into a run. I scream her name from the top of my lungs and force myself through the crowd.

Swan just looks at me with a lot confusion, so I hurry up even more. She can't defend herself, when she isn't even aware of a danger. I have to save her. I could never forgive myself otherwise.

She turns towards the fireball just as it's about to hit her and in exactly that moment, I pull her down from the carriage, into my arms.

Oh my god.

That was so close.

The fireball almost hit Emma. There were mere centimeters apart.

Luckily, I was fast enough. I don't know what would happen to me mentally, if Emma got hurt, when there was a way for me to save her. I don't think, that I could live with that guilt.

But she isn't completely save yet. Whoever made that fireball is still out there, and they want to hurt Emma. I have to get her away from here, so I begin to duck though the crowd with Emma in my arms and move towards my home. There she'll be save.

Emma: "Killian, where are we going?"

Killian: "Home. You're not save here. I have to get you away in order to protect you. Just hold on to me. I'll carry you."

As soon as we get to my house, I sit Emma down on the kitchen counter and hug her tight. She puts both her arms and legs around me.

Killian: "I was so worried about you. When I saw the fireball flying your way..."

A sob escapes my mouth and I try hard not to cry. Emma has been through enough earlier at the parade, she doesn't need a weeping best friend now. She needs stability, so I have to be strong for her.

She pulls away and puts her hands on either side of my face.

Emma: "Hey, it's okay. You saved me. Everything is fine. We'll be fine. I'm just glad, that I actually get to see you right now. I missed you so much."

At that her voice breaks and a few tears stream down her face. I wipe them away with my thumbs and smile sadly at her before pulling her into a tight embrace once again.

Killian: "I missed you too, Swan. I missed you too."

I don't even know who needs the other more right now. Her because she's been in a dangerous situation and almost died or me because I panicked so much when the fireball was about to hit her.

And it is in that moment, that I realize, that the Queen of Misthaven, Emma's mother, and Rose were right all along.

I don't just care about Emma as my best friend. She's so much more than that. She always was.

I just never believed, that this is love.

But today, when I almost lost her, I realized, that there could never be anyone else, I'd love this much. Not ever.

I'm in love with my best friend and I think, that's been this way for a long time. It might even have been love at first sight.

I was just too stubborn to admit it, too sacred, that she doesn't love me and she probably doesn't.

Why would she love me?

I'm not special. I'm just a normal boy, while she's a princess.

I'd never be enough for her and thinking that would be delusional.

So, all in all I'm screwed. Sometimes fate is cruel and ironic. I've found my true love, but she's never going to be mine.

All I can do is hope, that Liam won't win the Selection.

I don't think I could take it, if she would be to become my sister in-law. It would hurt too much. I couldn’t bear the pain of losing her to my brother.

I’d probably leave Misthaven because facing them would be too much.

I just hope, that they won’t fall in love because I’d never want to abandon my Swan. That would hurt just as much as losing her to my brother or losing her in general.

So all in all I can safely say, that Emma and Liam’s love would tear me apart. No matter if I leave or stay. 


	28. Chapter 28

**Emma's POV**

_**Wednesday** _

  
I don't know how long Killian and I stay in his kitchen, wrapped tightly in each other's arms.

I missed him so much and knowing, that I'll have to go soon and then I won't be able to see him for another four days, totally breaks me to the point that a loud sob leaves my mouth involuntarily.

Killian pulls away enough to look at me. He's once again worried about me. I'm probably the worst best friend in the world. He doesn't deserve this. Constantly having to worry about me.

Killian: "Hi. What's up? Are you okay?"

Emma: "Yeah. Don't worry about it."

Killian: "I'll always worry about you, Swan. Especially after today...I mean you almost died. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Emma: "But I didn't die. Thanks to you."

Killian: "That's what I'm for, isn't it?"

I chuckle and pull him closer again. I just need to be close to him right now. Otherwise I won't survive the rest of the week.

Emma: "I don't ever want to go back home. I don't want to leave you."

Killian: "I don't want you to leave, either, love. But you and I both know, that we don't have a choice. We aren't even allowed to see each other right now. At least I'll see you Sunday."

I can see how much this is all hurting him too, even though he’s hiding it because he's trying to be strong for me.

It's good to know, that I'm not the only one hurting here, but it makes everything ten times as painful too. It's all my fault after all.

I had to fall asleep and that's why we aren't allowed near each other at the moment.

As soon as I realize that tears stream down my face because the guilt is too strong and multiple sobs fill the silence of the room.

Killian holds me even closer to him, if that's still possible at this possibility my and he strokes the back of my head with his hand.

I don't deserve this. I don't deserve his comfort.

This is all my fault after all.

I lose all control of my emotions at that realization and with that all control of my magic. My hands light up and a second later I hear Killian wince in pain.

I quickly push him away and my crying increases.

Then I look at him and see that his neck is bleeding badly. That's exactly where I touched him, so I did this.

I just hurt him physically because I can't even control my own magic. I'm so pathetic. He should hate me.

But he obviously doesn't. His face doesn't hint any fear and he slowly approaches me again.

Killian: "Swan, it's okay. Calm down. It's just me. You're save."

Emma: "I can't control it. You should get far away from me."

Killian: "No. I won't leave you alone. I'm not scared of you, love."

He reaches out his hand and that causes me to take three steps backwards. I'm so scared of hurting him again, I can't even describe it.

This is worse than the incident with the guard. I could think straight then because I wasn't as freaked out since I didn't care about the guard at all. With Killian it's a totally different story.

I'm terrified and I can't concentrate, so I can't fix this either.

I have to get out of here, but I know he won't let me go that easily. He'd run after me or try to stop me and then I would hurt him once more. I couldn't take that. I already can't handle it.

Killian: "Don't back away, Swan. Don't be scared. I trust you, you just have to believe in yourself. Can you do that for me?"

Emma: "I-I don't know how to fix this. You-You ca-can't help me this time. Please go. I don't wa-ant to h-hurt you."

Killian: "You won't hurt me, Emma. Come on. Take my hand."

Emma: "But that could kill you."

Killian: "It won't. When you won't trust yourself, then at least trust me. Please Emma. I won't give up on you."

He comes closer and closer, until we're almost touching and a wave of bravery overcomes me. I put my hand in his and the light goes away.

He smiles and pulls me to him by my hand, kissing the top of my head.

Killian: "I'm so proud of you, Emma."

I smile and I know, that with his help, I'll always be able to control my magic. Maybe I can even learn some things with his help.

Also knowing that he's proud of me, means a lot. It warms my heart and makes me love him even more.

It really isn't a smart decision of my mother to keep us apart. Maybe I should have a panic attack and destroy half of the castle. It might make her understand, that I need Killian in my life.

Then there's suddenly a very loud knock on the door. A moment later the door comes crashing down onto the floor and two armed guards enter Killian's house.

They pull me to them by my arm and I wish I had my magic under control. I pray for it to appear, but that doesn't happen. I really need to practice with Killian on Sunday.

While the first guard holds me back and pulls me out of the house, the other grabs Killian by the arm. They take us on a carriage, which will probably take us to the palace.

But then something weird happens, when the guards join us and the carriage begins to move. They put handcuffs on Killian's arms and hold a sword to his neck.

Emma: "What the hell do you think you're doing?! Get the hell away from Killian."

Guard: "No, Your Highness. I'm sorry, but he's our prisoner now. He broke a law from the Queen herself, so he must be punished. I think, he'll be lucky if livelong prison is his sentence. It's more likely for him to be executed, but that's up for the Queen to decide."


	29. Chapter 29

**Emma's POV**

_**Wednesday** _

  
When we arrive at the castle the guards tell me to go to my room, but I don't listen. I'd never listen to them because that would require respect and I don't even tolerate them at the moment. I hate them more than anything.

I know it's not their fault since they're only doing their job, but I can't help but despise them right now.

I'll stay with Killian for now and later I'll have a nice little chat with my parents. They'll be delighted about it. Especially my mother.

She deserves wasch and every kind of resentment I feel towards her right now.

I never wished for another mother as much as I do now and she has messed up big a lot of times.

I just hate her so much.

I won't let her execute my best friend and if she believes, she can get away with it, she’s very wrong. I'd make her life a living hell in that case. I don't even care, that she’s my mother anymore. I don't understand jokes, when it's concerning Killian.

We reach the basements and the guards put Killian in a cell. Unfortunately, they take the keys with them. I wished, that they might be dumb enough to leave them here, so that I could free Killian and run away with him. This palace isn't the right place for us. It never was.

I once again realize, that his plan to flee was a good one. We never should’ve stayed here. It was the dumbest decision I’ve ever made.

Guard: "You might want to go to your room now, Your Highness. Otherwise I'll have to notify the Queen and King. They won't be pleased about you spending time with the prisoner. It will just lead to an execution being even more likely."

My mother stands with her opinion, so this won't change a thing. She probably already has her mind set on the worst...an execution...and nothing can nor will stop that.

Which doesn’t mean, that I’ll go down without a fight. Killian always fought for us and now it’s my turn. I won’t let him die.

I’d rather get tortured and commit suicide.

Emma: "I don't care what you do. Just go away and leave us. I'm not scared of anyone or anything."

They roll their eyes and turn around to leave. That makes me even more angry. If Killian wasn't here, I'd probably lose my temper once again and destroy the castle with my magic. I don't think Killian and I would survive that since we're in the basement.

But at least then we'd die together and wouldn't ever have to live separate lives again.

I turn to Killian and take his hand through the bars of the cell. I give it a light squeeze and try my best to give him a small smile even though I'm not happy at all right now.

I'm once again terrified of losing him.

When did we become that way? Always on the verge of losing each other?

It's all the fault of the Selection aka my mothers fault. It was such a mistake to agree on doing the Selection. I should have run away with him or married him. Everything would be better then.

Emma: "I'll get you out of here, I promise."

Killian: "I know. I'd never doubt you, but please promise to me, that you won't do anything stupid, while trying. I don't want you to make any disadvantageous deals with your parents to get me out of here like reversing our plan about the Selection. Don't marry one of them just to get me out of here alive. Please. I want you to be happy. Don't risk your happiness for me. I'll be fine and when I won't be, then that's alright. Don't ever blame yourself, love, if I die."

Tears pour down both of our faces and the moment feels like a goodbye even though I will see him again. I'll make sure of that. I could never let anything happen to him. I'll save him. No matter what.

This isn't goodbye.

I won’t fail him.

He’ll live.

Maybe if I tell myself this often enough, it'll become true.

Emma: "I'll do anything I have to, if it means you get to live. Don't ask me to do anything else. Please. It's not fair since I know, you'd do anything for me too."

Killian: "Just trust me, when I say, that your happiness is all that matters to me. Even if that means I have to die. You don't have to sacrifice anything for me, love."

Emma: "If there's no other way but to marry one of the Selected, I'll do it. I can't lose you and you know that, so don't ask me to let you go. I won't do it. I can't."

He reaches for my face through the bars with the hand, that isn't holding my own, and he wipes the tears covering my face away. I lean into his hand and the sobs calm down a little. Killian can always make me feel better even with the smallest actions and without a single word.

Killian: "You'll never lose me, Emma. I'll always be by your side. You'll always have me right here."

He puts our joined hands on my heart and I realize, that he's really given up. He's prepared to die for my happiness and that totally breaks my heart into a million pieces since I can't be happy without him in my life. How can he even think, that I'd find happiness without him? It's never going to happen!

Emma: "Don't say that. You're not allowed to give up."

Killian: "I'm not giving up, I'd never stop fighting for us...I'm just being realistic here and trying to give you a proper goodbye in case I can't be saved. I mean your mother hates me more than anything, so we both know, she'll want me to be executed. And most of the time she gets what she wants."

The sobs and the tears increase once again and all I want right now is Killian to hold me, but unluckily the bars are in the way. Why can't I control my magic? Then I'd have him out of here with the flick of my hand.

So, since I can't hug him I put both of my hands in his and lean my forehead to the bars. He leans in too and our foreheads connect. This is unbelievably calming and makes me feel happy.

It's sort of a tradition of Killian and I.

This peacefulness doesn't last long though since only a few minutes later my mother comes down into the basement, yelling at me to get away from her prisoner. That's all the warning I get before my mother has the two guards from earlier drag me to her office.

At this point, I don’t even think she cares whether they’re hurting me or not, which they do. I’m just not strong enough to fight them since I’m completely broken on the inside.

 


	30. Chapter 30

**Emma's POV**

_**Wednesday** _

  
Snow: "How could you, Emma? We told you, that you can't see him and as soon as you get out of the palace, you disobey us? Now we won't let you see him ever again. Not that it will be possible since he'll be executed on Sunday."

What the hell?!

She can't seriously consider this! She was always such a nice person before the Selection. Well at least I thought she was. Maybe I was wrong, which is unlikely.

Sure, we always had our problems, but I could tell that she had a good heart.

But now?

Now she's talking about cold blooded murder just because something doesn't go her way. She's just as bad as Regina. They'd probably get along great! They should meet up and become best friends. I'm sure my mother would like her better than she likes me.

David: "Snow, we can't just kill someone - least of all our daughters best friend. This will break Emma’s heart. Please overthink that decision. It’s rash and totally unreasonable."

Snow: "There's nothing to overthink, David. We talked about this. Killian is a problem and this is obviously the only way to fix the problem."

David: "But he's our daughters best friend."

See even my dad sees this. He even said it twice, which shows me how much this upsets him too. He probably forgot, that he already mentioned this.

This is good. It means, that my dad won’t give up that easily on Killian either.

Maybe together we’ll be able to save my best friend.

Snow: "I don't care. They knew the rules and they still ignored them!"

She's unbelievable!

How can someone be so heartless?!

I mean even my father is disagreeing with her and he never says, that he believes her plans to be totally wrong. He always just disagrees on little things with her. Didn’t she realize this by now?

Why can't she just listen to him?!

Emma: "You can't just kill him. We didn't even plan to break the rules. I was alright with just seeing him today and not be able to do anything about it. We were just together because I was attacked by Regina. He saved my life. If it weren't for him, I'd be dead."

My father's face falls and he turns to me, embracing me tightly and stroking the back of my head. Nobody told them about the attack yet, I think.

David: "Oh my god, Emma, are you okay, sweetie? What did she do to you?"

Emma: "She threw a fireball at me. I didn't see it until right before it almost hit me. Killian pulled me down from the carriage, otherwise I would've been hit by the fireball. After saving m, Killian brought me to his house because I wasn't safe out there in the crowd with Regina near by. He wasn't trying to break your rules, mother. He was just protecting me and he doesn't deserve to die for that. He rather deserves some gratitude from you."

Snow: "No, he doesn’t. He could've brought you to a guard and then you would've been safe too. Funny how he could only think of the selfish way to save you."

David: "Snow, he risked his life for our daughter. Why do you hate him so much?"

Snow: "Oh come on, David. It couldn't have been that serious. Otherwise we would've already heard about the attack. They just use this as an excuse. I've heard enough lies, Emma, you can go to your room now. Killian's execution is set for Sunday. That's when you were supposed to meet anyway, so it's a good appointment, isn't it?"

More tears stream down my face every second and I break down, falling to my knees. This can't be the end of us?

She’s so cruel!

Earlier, I didn't believe, that my mother was this much convinced that Killian has to die, that not even my dad can change something about it? How the hell am I supposed to help him now!

There's only one way probably. The way he won't like at all, but I don't care. If there's a way to save him, I'll do it. No matter how much he hates it.

Emma: "Don't kill Killian. Please."

Maybe begging will help even though I doubt it.

Snow: "No. He'll die like the traitor he is."

Emma: "This isn't fair. Please. Dad say something!"

David: "I'm sorry, Emma, but I think the decision has been made."

Emma: "No. Please don't kill him. Punish me instead. I broke your rules too. It's not all his fault. It's mine too. He shouldn't take all the blame."

Snow: "We are already punishing you by making you watch him die."

David: "Snow, that's just cruel."

Snow: "She asked for punishment, so she'll get it. Now stop being weird and agree with me on everything. You know I'm right."

David: "No. You're not. Why can't you just let Killian go and pretend today never happened. I think they learned their lesson and won't attempt to visit each other on any day other than Sunday. Please Snow. Don't become a cruel monster, be the person I love."

They argue without words for a while and I'm once again praying for my father to win the argument. And by the end it looks like he's won since he smiles softly.

Snow: "Okay. But if this will ever happen again, he'll be executed. Do we understand each other?"

I sigh out of relief and smile brighter than ever. Then I look at my mother and nod.

Snow: "Okay. Then go down and let him out of his cell."

She hands me the keys and I raise an eyebrow. I call this the Killian-pose and I only do it when I'm very confused about something.

Emma: "You're letting me see him? Now?"

Snow: "Yes. It's an exception because you've been through a lot today, which is partly my fault. I'm sorry, I don't even know what got over me. But now go. Dinner's in thirty minutes and you have to be on time."

I smile at my dad, silently thanking him. I don’t know how he did it, but he did the impossible by changing my mother’s mind and I’m grateful for that.

I hug both of my parents and then I practically race to the basement with the keys. I have half an hour and I intend to use every second of it.


	31. Chapter 31

**Emma's POV**

_**Wednesday** _

  
When I reach the basement, Killian is looking at me with shock in his eyes. He probably didn't expect me to be here again so soon or ever. I guess we're really in sync then since I never expected to be back here with him either. I never thought my parents would let me see him again. Especially not today.

Killian: "Swan? What are you doing here? Did you steal those keys?"

Emma: "No. They surprisingly gave them to me. Now hurry up. We have half an hour to hang out. Then I'll have to attend dinner with my idiotic fake boyfriends."

I unlock the cell and as soon as he gets out of it, I hug him very sudden and very tight. He returns that hug though just as fierce. He even lifts me up off the ground and spins me around, which makes me giggle and I'm not a person, who usually giggles.

Killian is the only person who can cause that for me. He's the only exception.

Emma: "It was hard to convince my mother, but you're free. If we get caught together on any other day but Sunday ever again, she'll execute you though."

Killian: "Okay. Then we'll have to be careful when we meet. It wouldn't be too good to get caught."

Emma: "What?! You can't seriously think, that it's a good idea for us to see each other daily. I won't let that happen. You-You can't take that risk."

The possibility of losing him was already too terrible a feeling. I can't feel that ever again, so we can't meet whenever we want. I'm too scared of losing him now because I know, that that feeling would be a million times worse.

Killian: "You're worth the risk, Emma. I'd do anything if it means spending time with you. And I bet, that your mother will surround you with less guards now. She thinks, that you're too scared now to visit me. She won't expect us to meet, so it'll be far easier to do so."

Emma: "Well then her strategy worked. I won't visit you and please don't try to visit me either. I can't risk losing you."

He gives me a look filled with pity and sadness before pulling me into his arms once again. I lie my head in the crook of his neck, while breathing in his scent. He smells really good like a weird mix of the ocean and cinnamon aka two things I love a lot. Just as much as I love Killian.

It's also ironically two things, that describe us pretty well since Killian makes us cinnamon pancakes almost every time we're on his ship, which is a lot.

Killian lies his head on top of mine and softly rubs my back.

Killian: "I promise you, that you won't lose me. I won't let them take me away from you. Are you really alright, love?"

Emma: "I am now."

He tightens his grip around me and gives my forehead a soft kiss before putting his head back to its previous spot on top of mine.

Somehow, I want to talk to him about earlier, when I almost lost him. But I also don't want to burden him with my pain. He's been through enough. I mean he's the one, that almost died, so I have no right to act like I'm feeling worse than him.

Killian: "I can tell, that something is bothering you. What is it?"

Emma: "It's nothing. Don't worry about it."

Killian: "You know, you can talk to me, right? I can help you with whatever it is, that's bothering you."

Emma: "It's really nothing. I'm just feeling a little low because of everything that happened today."

Killian: "That's totally normal. Don't worry, love. You don't need to be ashamed of it. Especially not in front of me. You've been through a lot. You were attacked after all."

Oh right.

That was also today.

Funny, how this doesn't even bother me. I actually forgot it happened because I was too busy blaming myself for what almost happened to Killian and I was also spending most of my time worrying about him and the possibility of losing him.

However, I feel even worse now about being so upset about today. It's not fair to act like I'm sad since Killian probably feels as miserable as I did. He almost watched me die too.

I'm so selfish, but I just need to let all these feelings out. Killian is the only one who'd understand. I just need his comfort.

Emma: "That's not even what's bothering me. I haven't even thought of it until now. I was too worried the whole time – about you. Today was a reminder, that I could lose you every day and that terrifies me a lot. I don't know what I'll do when I'll lose you one day. I don't want a life without you in it and I know how stupid and cheesy that sounds."

Killian: "You won't ever lose me, Swan. I won't let that happen."

Emma: "But I will. One day, I'm going to be Queen and my mother will eventually get her wish to marry me off to someone. Then I'll hardly have any time for you. We'll live separate lives then, until we won't visit each other anymore. That's how the world works."

He sighs, probably realizing, that I'm right.

Killian: "Maybe we really should've gotten married."

Emma: "Yeah. Maybe we should've."

And I realize once again, that he's right about this. If we got married, we never would've to live without each other. No one could ever come between us and we wouldn't learn to live our separate lives.

Maybe we'd even fall in love.


	32. Chapter 32

**Emma's POV**

_**Wednesday** _

  
Mine and Killian's time together is unfortunately coming to an end just as I dreaded it. I'm happy we got to see each other though. I missed him a lot and if my mother wouldn't threaten to execute him for spending time with me, I'd take a risk in order to visit him.

Emma: "I'll walk you out."

Killian: "Sure."

He takes my hand and we walk up the stairs to the entrance hall of the palace, while swinging our hands. Many guards are stationed there, but I don't care about the company. I still pull Killian into a tight hug, placing my nose into the crook of his neck and my hand into his hair. He has very soft hair, so I could keep my hand there forever. Unfortunately, he has to go in a minute or so.

I already miss him.

As we pull away I smile brightly at him before kissing his cheek. I keep my lips there longer than necessary, but that's just the way Killian and I kiss each other's cheeks. It's not just something couples do even though Rose would probably disagree.

She wants us to be together after all and makes up weird things, that supposedly prove, that Killian and I love each other. I'm happy she isn't here right now. Otherwise she'd probably thing we secretly got married. She’d probably die of happiness on the spot.

Emma: "I'll miss you."

Killian: "I'll miss you too, love."

He kisses my forehead before walking backwards - our hands still intertwined since we don't want to let go of each other. We just hold on for as long as possible.

Killian: "See you on Sunday, Swan."

Emma: "I wouldn't miss it for anything in all the realms."

We smile and Killian steps out of the door. I stand in the doorway for as long as Killian is visible, watching after him. It makes me feel like a stalker, but I just can't help it. I won't see him for the next three days after all.

When Killian is long gone I realize, that I have to go to dinner. I can't be late. Otherwise my mother will kill Killian, then me and then Killian again. I can't let that happen.

When I arrive in the dining room my parents aren't there yet, but the idiots are. I have the worst luck.

Maybe I should just wait for my parents to arrive in the hallway. But I decide against it.

It can't hurt to make my mother think I'm early. She'll be impressed and might allow me to visit Killian more often, which is my goal right now.

I sit down at the table of the Royal Family. The Selected have a table of their own, luckily, so I don't have to sit next to any of them.

A few moments after I sat down at the table, a maid enters the dining room with my little brother. Some days he's fed his bottle here with us. I quite enjoy those days and today he couldn't come here at a better time. Now I don't have to talk to the idiots, I can just spend some time with my brother.

My mother won't even mind that since my brother is her favorite. Either way it’ll make a good impression.

So, I reach out my arms as the maid passes me and she hands me my brother. I hold him in my arms and rock him slowly. He is quite a sweet baby, I must give him that.

Emma: "Hi Leo. How are you, younger brother?"

Liam: "Don't you mean 'little brother?'"

Emma: "No. That would upset Killian."

I don't even understand why but Killian hates it when Liam refers to him as his 'little' brother. They have daily fights about that. It's kind of ridiculous. I'm happy my brother isn't old enough to talk yet or maybe we'd have pointless arguments too.

Leo reaches out his hands to me and I take one, while kissing the other.

In exactly that moments my parents enter the room and they have bright smiles on their faces as soon as they see me and Leo together.

Snow: "Emma! You're spending time with Leo. I'm impressed."

I try hard not to keep my eyes from glazing over. She's so predictable. Also, I hate that she acts like I hate my brother. I can still love him without acting like he's the eighth world wonder.

My parents sit down on either side of me and my mother drags Leo away from me, giving him back to the maid, so that she can feed him.

Oh no.

That probably means dinner is starting and with that interaction with the Selected. I hate this so much. I hate them so much.

David: "Are you alright, Emma? We got a message from the Evil Queen. She admits, that she threw that fireball at you. She threatened us once again."

Emma: "I'm fine."

My dad gives me a small smile, which tells me, that he's planning something. I'm excited to find out what it is. My dad is always on my side, so this is probably good.

He then turns to the Selected.

David: "We understand, that living here is a threat to you, so if any of you want to leave, don't hesitate. You have any right to do so. Especially during these times of great danger."

I hope they all leave. I mean even my mother seems to agree with my father about this and she loves the Selection more than anything else in the world. They should listen to them.

Emma: "Yeah. I'd understand. You don't have to risk your lives for me. I'd never ask that of you."

I should become an actress. It would be fun and easy. I mean I even managed to sound like I genuinely care about them, which I obviously don't. I wouldn't mind the Evil Queen getting rid of them as long as the Selection would be over.

I look around the table, but unfortunately none of them seems to consider leaving me. Well it was to good to be true anyway. Sometimes we can't have everything.

Snow: "Emma, honey, we'd also understand if you'd do a big elimination right now. They aren't safe here, so we shouldn't keep people here, that you see no future at all with."

Wow.

My mother is full of surprises today – good surprises. I mean first she lets me see Killian and now this.

Maybe she realized, that I deserve some happiness after what happened today – I was attacked after all and almost had to watch my best friend die.

Emma: "I think, that's a very wise decision, mother. I don't want to risk their lives, if it's unnecessary."

And with that I begin to call out names, which is pretty complicated since I never really bothered to learn any of the idiot's names.

By the time I'm done eliminating, dinner is almost over and only 15 idiots are left, so I kicked out 17 of them. I'd call that a win even though I was quite gracious to them. If it were only for me and not my parents, I would've kicked out all of them.


	33. Chapter 33

**Emma's POV**

_**Wednesday** _

  
I go back to my room after dinner and probably have the goofiest grin ever on my face. I'm just very happy about the mass elimination. Now I'll only have to find a way to kick out the remaining fifteen idiots and I'll be free.

Finally.

I can't wait for that day. It should hurry the fuck up.

Hopefully my mother will let me eliminate people very quickly from now on.

I enter my room and Rose is waiting there for me. As soon as I am inside she runs to me and hugs me tightly.

Rose: "Oh my god, Emma. I heard what happened with you and the Evil Queen. She attacked you! I was so worried about you. Are you alright?"

Emma: "I'm fine Rose, no need to squeeze me to death. Her fireball didn't even hit me."

Rose lets out a loud breath, she's been holding and we smile at each other. She's a good friend and even though she can be annoying at times, I'm glad to have her in my life.

Rose: "Yeah I heard that, too. You were able to escape the fireball, right? Luckily you saw it in time."

What the hell?!

What is she talking about?

I didn't see it in time. I didn't escape the fireball by myself. Killian pulled me away from it. He saved me, I didn't save myself this time.

Rose: "Why are you so confused about it? Is that not what happened?"

Emma: "No! Are my parents spreading those lies?"

Rose nods and I ball my fists.

They can't be serious! Just when I thought my mother did something good and she might be a good person after all, she has to destroy that image. How can she just act like Killian wasn't there!

She's impossible. He saves me and she isn't the least bit grateful! It's so unfair to him and I'm not just saying that because she almost had him murdered. She also doesn't believe, that he deserves any kind of credit for saving the crown princess – her only daughter.

No wonder Rose was so worried! If she knew, she'd be far busier fangirling over me and Killian and making up romantic stuff about us, which is ridiculous, but entertaining, I must admit – even though it upsets me because it isn't the truth, while Rose believes it to be true.

Sometimes it even hurts, when I realize it isn't true. My life would be so much easier, if me and Killian would be in love. We could've gotten married to make the people happy without me having to host the Selection.

Everything would be better since we'd both be happy.

But unfortunately, we're not.

Rose: "What actually happened?"

Emma: "I only saw the fireball, when it was right about to hit me. Killian saved me though. He ran towards me and pulled me away in time."

Rose: "Awwww. I always knew, that Killian was your knight in shining armor."

I roll my eyes and glare at her. I knew this would happen, so why did I tell her again? I'm so stupid or my subconscious is dumb enough to believe Rose's theories. They're not true though. Not any of them.

Emma: "I don't need anyone to save me, I do that quite well on my own. Today was an exception. I didn't see the fireball, so I couldn't defend myself."

Rose: "Well it's still cute though. And you don't need to be afraid to let other people save you from time to time, Emma. That doesn't make you any less badass."

I chuckle and I know, that she's right.

Emma: "I never said, that I mind Killian saving me, did I?"

Rose: "No. Not that you would ever mind something, that Killian does. He could do the worst thing ever and you'd still love him."

Emma: "I don't love him, Rose. I think we've settled that, so shut up about it. It's annoying as hell and you talking about it daily won't change a thing. Killian and I will never happen."

I don't mention, that this is too bad because that would make Rose think, she's right, even more than she already does.

She isn't though.

Rose: "If you say so."


	34. Chapter 34

 

 

**Emma’s POV**

 

_**Sunday** _

 

Rose wakes me up earlier than usual, but I don’t mind at all. I’m in a good mood today because I get to see Killian later. It’s just for an hour, but it still excites me a lot. I miss him and I’d never refuse to spend time with him. Not ever.

I’m really looking forward to that single hour even though in the end it means, that I won’t see him for a whole week once again after that special hour.

I’m glad Elsa is arriving tomorrow. Maybe her company will make time pass faster. We always have lots of fun together after all.

Rose: “Someone has an unusual bright smile this morning. I wonder why that would be.”

And so it begins with Rose’s daily teasing.

Why can’t she be that invested in someone else’s personal life. It’s so annoying.

I throw a pillow at her, but she just begins to laugh.

Rose: “Calm down, Emma. You don’t have to hide your excitement. It’s not a secret, that you miss Killian.”

Emma: “Is it that obvious?”

Rose: “Yes. I spend most of each day with you and lately you’ve been acting strange. There are times when you’re totally lost in thought and just begin to smile without an apparent reason. I know a person in love when I see one.”

Emma: “Still not in love with Killian.”

I get out of my bed and walk to my small breakfast table. Today’s meal is pancakes with cinnamon aka my favorite dish for this time.

Also, as soon as I see the pancakes I remember that time Killian tried to make pancakes for me. It was the day before everything went to hell. We got into a little food fight that day and the memory makes me even happier than I already was.

I miss him so much!

I can’t wait for my hour with him in the afternoon. It’s the only thing, that still pleases me now.

 

…

 

After I ate breakfast and got ready for the day, I had to go on some dates with the Selected. The public wasn’t as happy about the big elimination as my mother would’ve hoped, so she makes me go on ‘romantic’ dates with them to please everyone.

I hate this even more than the early stages of the Selection.

Now I even have to talk to each of them individually and the dates are so boring. I never thought that anyone could be as lame as these boys.

You can’t compare either of them to Killian. If you did, he’d be some Greek god, while they’d be fishes – boring, smelly and gross.

 

…

 

In the afternoon I stand in the entrance hall of the palace and wait for my parents and a guard. I hope they’ll give me a nice one, which I can manipulate, but that’s unlikely. There’s hardly a nice guard in the palace. Maybe they’ll send me the one I almost killed with my magic. That would be great since he’s terrified of me. I could do anything I want and he’d never say anything to my parents about it because he’d fear for his life.

Then I could have a fun hour with my best friend.

That isn’t the case though, I realize as soon as my parents enter the hall with a guard.

They got me the second-best guard though since they chose James.

He’s very nice and he might even amuse me at times. He won’t be too strict, which is all that matters. Maybe he’ll even let me and Killian alone. He usually doesn’t care about my business as soon as he knows I’m safe.

Snow: “Emma, you’re early.”

She rolls her eyes. I don’t even know why she hates mine and Killian’s friendship so much. Shouldn’t she be happy, that I have a best friend, whom I care about very deeply and who cares about me infinitely. We’ve never even done anything to her.

Snow: “Mr. Hill will accompany you to Killian’s. He knows the rules, so don’t even try to manipulate him. It wouldn’t be worth it.”

Now it would be my time to roll my eyes, but I try hard not to. My mother could always change her mind and I can’t lose the chance to see Killian. I can’t go on without seeing him any longer. I miss him far too much for that.

Snow: “Now go on, we expect you back in a little bit over an hour since Killian doesn’t live far from here.”

David: “Bye, Emma. Have fun.”

My mother glares at my father and I have a hard time trying not to laugh.

I smile at my dad and give him a short hug, before I leave the palace with James.

Emma: “Hi James.”

James: “Princess. So, what is it you want? You sound like you want to ask me something, so ask away…”

Emma: “Could you leave Killian and I alone? It would be quite awkward to be watched by a guard, don’t take that personal. It would be far easier to talk to him privately though and far more natural.”

James: “Of course. I wasn’t planning to stay,”

I hug him out of excitement and I can tell he doesn’t know what to do. I’ve put him in a quite awkward position. Not that James is ever acting differently.

We soon continue our walk to Killian’s, which isn’t too far away and as soon as we reach the door James leaves me alone.

James: “I’ll pick you up in an hour, Princess.”

Emma: “Thanks. Goodbye James, I’ll see you later.”

He gives me a small nod and walks away. I turn to Killian’s door and knock loudly since I’m very eager to see him. Also, I don’t want to waste any time, that we have together.

He opens the door just a moment later as if he had sat in front of his door all day, waiting for me.

Maybe that’s all he did today.

It’s probably what I would’ve done if our roles were reversed.

That would be quite fun since his parents aren’t there anymore, so he’d be king already. We could do whatever we wanted.

That would be the greatest thing ever.

Also King Killian kind of has a nice ring to it.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays to everyone celebrating.

**Emma’s POV**

**_Sunday_.**

 

As soon as Killian opens the door for me I fly into his arms, almost knocking him off his feet. I embrace him tightly and he does exactly the same. When I inhale his scent, he chuckles.

Emma: “What’s so funny?”

Killian: “Someone’s quite eager to see me.”

I pull away from him and playfully slap him. He pretends to be hurt and that makes us both laugh uncontrollably.

Emma: “Don’t even pretend, that you didn’t miss me.”

Killian: “I didn’t.”

He tries to lie, but I can see right through that façade. Not just because I’m a human lie-detector, but also because that was the worst lie I’ve ever heard.

He’s so impossible with his teasing all the time. Even though I must admit, that I love him for it.

Emma: “Yeah. I missed you, too. Now let’s go to the couch. I love your couch after all.”

He laughs once again and takes my hand to lead me to his living room. Funny since I know this place so well. It’s like my second home. It even feels like home to me – more than the palace anyway.

Killian: “How have you been these past never-ending four days?”

Emma: “Awful. The people hate the big elimination, so my mother now makes me date the idiots for real. I have to go to all kinds of boring places with them and do even more boring activities. They’re all so lame. I hate spending time with them.”

Killian: “I’m glad to hear that, love.”

I raise my eyebrow in an attempt to impersonate Killian. It probably looks awful, though. At least he doesn’t make fun of me for it, which is totally out of character for him.

So, I must be lucky today.

Emma: “You’re glad I’m miserable and bored out of my mind?”

Killian: “Yes. But don’t get me wrong, I only like this because it means I’m better than them. That gives me clarification, that you won’t dumb your best friend for one of them.”

Emma: “They’ve got nothing on you, Killy. Don’t worry. They’re totally out of your league. Did I mention how boring the dates are?”

I scoot closer to him on the couch and put his arms around myself, while lying my head on his shoulder. Now this is a comfortable position.

Maybe I should buy Killian a pillow costume and pretend, that he’s a really big pillow. It might fool my mother, so I could spend time with him and I’d be comfortable in the palace. It would be great for everyone.

Killian: “Aren’t the boring dates enough to kick all of them out?”

Emma: “Unfortunately not. Otherwise they’d be long gone. My mother won’t let me kick them out that easily though. She loves the Selection. I can’t that she changes her mind about your mind. I’d rather die than marry any of them.”

Killian: “Well at least she only makes you go on boring dates with them. There could be worse things.”

Emma: “She also constantly tells me to kiss them in public – with many people around – so the people have something ‘ _exciting’_ to talk about. But until now I could avoid it. I hope I never run out of excuses.”

Killian’s jaw flinches and his hands turn into fists. I think he hates my mother as much as she hates him.

That’s quite adorable since he’s only doing it for me. He’d never have to interact with her, if he wouldn’t be friends with me. That says a lot about how much he cares about me. His love for me is bigger than his hatred for her.

Killian: “She can’t just make you kiss either of them against your will, can she?”

Emma: “She’s the Queen. She can do whatever she pleases, unfortunately. And sooner or later she’ll win. She has leverage over me after all…you. If I don’t do what she wants, she’ll threaten you again and I won’t let that happen.”

At the thought I picture Killian being tortured and it breaks my heart. Tears stream down my face in no time and Killian just holds me tighter against him, kissing each of my tears away.

Killian: “Please don’t make so many sacrifices for me. I don’t want you, too. All that matters to me is your own happiness, so please find that instead.”

I shake my head.

Killian: “You’re so stubborn.”

I laugh at that and smile at him, the tears eventually slowing, before stopping all together.

Emma: “It’s really okay. It’s just a few kisses. We’re not talking life or death here. I’ll get it over with. It’ll be uncomfortable and awkward, but it won’t kill me, so stop worrying.”

He hugs me tighter to him again and I try to interpret his expression. This is so weird. I can usually read him so well, so what changed? What the hell is he thinking about?

Killian: “You know, I hate your mother more and more every day.”

Emma: “Same here. Does that mean we’re soulmates?”

We laugh.

Killian: “She acts like the Selection is great and that you’ll fall in love during it, but she also makes you pretend to be in love with them already. She’s so fake. You should choose when and if you kiss them, not her.”

Emma: “I know. But maybe if I do kiss one of them, they’ll leave. That would be great.”

He gives me his signature eyebrow raise and I smile. I haven’t seen the eyebrow in a long time – it’s been four days after all and usually I see it daily. I must admit, that I missed it a lot.

Killian: “Why would they leave? You’re that bad of a kisser?”

Emma: “No. I don’t know. I meant because it’ll be very awkward, so they might leave because of that incredible awkwardness. And who knows, maybe I am a terrible kisser, then they’ll have two reasons to run. I wouldn’t know since I never kissed anyone. I mean you know how busy I am and I spend all my spare time with you, so since we’ve never kissed, you should figure out, that I’ve never kissed anyone.”

He looks even angrier now like he might smash the windows any second.

Killian: “This makes the whole situation even more wrong. Your mother can’t just force you to give your first kiss to one of those idiots.”

Well as I said earlier…she can do this since she’s the Queen of Misthaven and my mother – even though she acts like a bitch and not like my mother.

But Killian is right anyway. This isn’t fair at all.

That’s probably why I avoided kissing either of them until now. I don’t want either of them to be my first kiss. I don’t want to let my mother win in this.

Emma: “Maybe we should kiss, then they’d never be the first.”

Oh no.

What the hell?!

Did I just say that out loud?

Oh no. I have to take this back. Me saying this probably destroyed our friendship. I have to apologize, but unluckily Killian cuts me off before I can by speaking first.

Killian: “Yeah. Maybe we should.”

Emma: “Forget I said that. I shouldn’t have. It’s not fair to ask this of you just because I don’t want any of them to be my first kiss. I’m sorry.”

Killian: “It’s okay, Swan. Don’t worry about it.”

I sigh out of relief, but then Killian suddenly puts his hand on my cheek. I look into his eyes and realize, that he’s looking at my lips.

So, he didn’t take my apology, he agreed to kiss me.

I look at his lips, before both our eyes meet again and Killian starts to lean in.

I should probably stop him now. This isn’t good for our friendship since I’m sure he’s only doing it out of obligation.

But I just can’t stop him since I’m too captivated by him like that time we almost kissed in the hallway. The gravity between us is too much to handle. That day I could control myself, so I stopped and ran away, but now I don’t think I can. Not this time.

My heart is beating is so fast and I feel like I can’t take a decent breath anymore. There’s also a lot of tension between us as our eyes flicker between each other’s eyes and lips. It makes me want to grab his shirt and smash my face on his.

His face is coming closer and closer to mine. I can feel his breath on my cheeks and honestly, it’s driving me mad of anticipation.

I know I shouldn’t feel this way. He’s just my best friend after all. But I still lean in just like him and close the gap between our lips.

His lips are incredibly soft and I love how they feel on my own that much, that I wish for this kiss to never end.


	36. Chapter 36

**Emma's POV**

  
_Monday_ **.**

  
I sit in my room and try to read a book, but I can't concentrate. All I'm actually doing is staring at a random page and being lost in my thoughts. It’s actually all I’ve been doing for the past few hours. I'm still thinking about yesterday – about mine and Killian's kiss.

We never got a chance to talk about it since we kissed until James arrived, so frankly I'm terrified about what this means. I just hope, that things between us won't be too awkward next Sunday.

I'd hate to lose my best friend even though that kiss – or to be perfectly honest – kisses were definitely worth it.

Suddenly one of my pillows flies into my face and that startles me a lot. I almost fall off my bed. I'm sure the person who threw the pillow is quite amused about the sight since I start to hear a quiet laughter.

I put the pillow away and see Elsa smirking at me. Right I was actually supposed to meet her in the entrance hall when she arrived. Is it that late already though? I totally lost track of time because I was too busy thinking about that kiss.

Elsa: "Hi, Emma. It's good to see you even though you totally ignored me for a minute. And by the way that's an interesting way to read. Is it a good book?"

I look down at the book and realize, that it's upside down. Oh god. I was so lost in my confusing thoughts, that I didn't even see this, while staring at the book for hours. I'm totally losing it, right?

Maybe I should go into an insane asylum. It might feel like home to me.

Emma: "I'm sorry I didn't greet you in the entrance hall. I lost track of time."

She smiles and hugs me tight. Then she sits down next to me on my couch, which causes me to think about yesterday once again since Killian and I were also sitting on a couch. Okay actually I never stopping thinking about all this.

I must seem so pathetic to others. Gladly no one can read my thoughts or I'd be dead of embarrassment.

I never thought I'd be that kind of girl, who's like thinking about a guy 24/7.

It's so stupid when I even think about that.

I really need a distraction.

Elsa: "Are you okay? You are acting strange today."

Emma: "I'm fine."

Aka the most told lie ever. Especially by myself.

Elsa: "Wow. That's the biggest lie I've ever heard, Emma. Please tell me what's going on."

Emma: "It's nothing."

She raises her eyebrow. We've literally spend too much time with Killian in the past. Now Elsa is also using that eyebrow against me. She knows, that i can’t resist it and that it makes me share my darkest secrets, when Killian does it.

And unluckily it's totally working right now for her, too.

I suddenly want to tell her everything even though I don't even understand it myself.

So, I just blurt it out.

Emma: "I kissed Killian."

Elsa: "Oh. So, you two are finally together. I'm happy for you. You're perfect for each other. It took you guys long enough."

Emma: "Oh please. Not you, too. There's nothing between me and Killian."

Elsa: "Oh, really? Because I seem to recall you just telling me about a kiss?"

Emma: "That was a one-time thing."

Elsa chuckles and I regret telling her. I should've known, that I can't lie to Elsa. She's far too perceptive and we know each other far too well.

She's never going to let this go.

Now I can just hope, that she won't tell Rose.

I'd never be able to handle both of them.

Elsa: "I don't believe that. You're not yourself today and you even admitted it to me, so I think, that that kiss meant more to you, than you might let yourself admit. You always put up walls around your heart to keep it safe, but there's no reason to be afraid this time, Emma. Killian will never hurt you. He cares far too much about you for that."

Emma: "It did not mean anything at all, Elsa. We just did it because I don't want either of the Selected to be my first kiss. I hate them all and my mother wants me to give the people some romantic action. It was just a kiss."

Elsa: "If it were just a kiss, you wouldn't be so defensive about it nor would you be confused about it."

What the hell?!

Is she kidding?!

Why can everyone suddenly read me so easily? It's not like I'm a fucking open book.

Elsa: "So I was right about you being confused. Interesting."

Emma: "I never said – "

Elsa: "You didn't have to say anything. I know your facial expression good enough after twelve years of friendship. So, what exactly confuses you, Emma? Let me help you."

Emma: "I'm not in love with Killian or something, so this kiss wasn't supposed to mean anything."

Elsa: "But it did."

I shrug even though I know she's right.

The kiss did mean something even though I'd never voluntarily admit it to anyone. Not even to myself since this complicates everything.

Until yesterday, Killian was just my best friend. We've never crossed a line, but all that changed when we kissed.

Now I just can't stop thinking about him and I miss him even more than before.

I think I might even start to fall in love with him.

I wish I didn't though since I know we'll never be together. He's never going to like me.

He did all this because he's a good friend and I asked him to kiss me, so he obeyed. He didn't kiss me because he wanted to do it.

For all I know he could've possibly hated every second of it since firstly we never talked about it and secondly, he'd never tell me the truth anyway in that case because he'd never want to hurt me – both physically and mentally.

So, I'll probably never know if it meant something to him unless he tells me accidentally, which will probably never happen, so I should just move on and try to forget about the kiss.

The only problem is the forgetting part since I doubt I’ll be able to achieve that.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!

 

**Emma's POV**

_Monday_.

  
Elsa: "But it did mean something."

Emma: "Yes. Kind of. I don't know."

Elsa: "Why are you so scared, Emma? It's just Killian. He's been your best friend for forever. There's no reason to be afraid."

Emma: "There is. I'm terrified and I wish I never kissed him. This complicates everything since I'm slowly developing feelings for him."

I don't understand it, but it's quite easy to talk to Elsa about all this. I would've imagined to go crazy during this conversation, but so far, I feel comfortable about telling her the truth. It even makes everything easier for me to figure out since I allow myself to admit a lot – not just to her but to myself.

Elsa: "But why is that so bad, Emma? You don't need to worry about the Selection. If you love Killian, then just end it. Your parents will probably understand. All they want is for you to be happy. They don't care about the Selected."

Emma: "It's not just the Selection. It's also Killian. We never talked about the kiss and it's not like he'd tell me the truth anyway...What if he doesn't even like me and would just pretend to because he doesn’t want to hurt me?"

Elsa: "He loves you. Emma. Even blind people could see it. You're his everything. You always were. You're just far too stubborn for your own good."

Everyone keeps saying we're in love with each other, but that doesn't make it real.

They don't know about us. They only see bits and pieces, so they can't know whether he's in love with me or not. No one knows this except for Killian.

And all this has nothing to do with stubbornness. I'm not stubborn – not at all.

Emma: "It doesn't matter, if he loves me or not. My mother would never let me end the Selection anyway, especially not for Killian. She hates his guts. I mean she almost had him executed on Thursday."

The memory of that day is still locked tight in my head. I don't think I'll ever forget it since I was so terrified. It's that bad, that I even started having nightmares, in which my dad and I weren't able to save Killian.

The dreams vary each time by the method my mother uses to kill my best friend.

But one thing always remains the same. He’s always dying and I have to watch him die each night.

I wake up every night during the very early morning hours, screaming and drenched in sweat. It's always impossible for me to fall asleep after a dream like that because I can't focus on anything but crying and wishing to run to Killian in order to check whether he’s okay.

I almost did it once, but then I realized the risk was too high. I can't visit him any time I like anymore, no matter how much I need to check on him and how much I need him to hold me close to him.

Elsa: "What the hell?! Did she seriously threaten to kill her only daughters best friend? That’s awful and heartless!”

Emma: "Yes. We aren't allowed to see each other because of the Selection except on Sundays. But he saved me the day Regina attacked me and brought me to his house to make sure I'm safe. My mother didn't care about that explanation though. She basically said we were faking the attack in order to see each other more often and that I was never in any real danger."

Elsa: "Wow. Your mother is mad. Maybe she should see a psychiatrist or something like that. Maybe I should talk to her about all this, she's fond of me. I might be able to change her mind."

I raise my eyebrow at Elsa and she instantly notices her mistake. No one could ever change my mother's mind, if not even my dad could. She shouldn't be the Queen of Misthaven, but the Queen of Stubbornland.

I don't even understand how someone can be so stubborn. It's insane. She is insane.

Elsa is right, maybe I should send my mother to a psychiatrist or maybe an asylum. She'd feel right at home there.

Elsa: "So if we can't change her mind, we'll have to find other ways for you two to see each other."

Emma: "Wait, you'd really help me with that?"

Elsa: "Of course. You're one of my best friends aside from Anna. Killian means a lot to you, so you need to see him regularly in order to be happy. I don't want you to be miserable. Maybe you could host a ball in my honor and I could insist to invite him. I mean, he’s my friend too, so your mother can’t keep me from inviting him."

Emma: "That's a great idea, Elsa. I hate balls and dancing, but when I can see Killian because of it, it'll be great. I might even enjoy to dance with him. Another bonus would be, that I could tell my mother I do it to introduce the Selected to royal customs. She'll love that and might let me see Killian twice a week because I'm being so nice to the idiots."


	38. Chapter 38

**Killian's POV**

_Wednesday_.

  
I'm once again sitting in my house with a letter from the palace in front of me. I've been staring at it for the past hour, being too scared to open it.

It's probably from Emma through Liam. She might push me away and end our friendship because of our kiss and I'm not ready for that – not that I'll ever be ready to lose her.

Of course the letter could just be some general updates about her life and how much she despises the Selected, but that doesn't make me less nervous since it's far more likely, that it's about the kiss.

That certain kiss, that I haven't been able to get out of my head for the past three days. It's honestly all I've been thinking about ever since it happened. It was perfect even though it makes me feel incredibly guilty.

I probably should've resisted her since she only did this because she didn't want any of the Selected to be her first kiss – so she was emotional, just like that time we almost kissed in the hallway of the palace – but I just couldn't stop it, which is totally my fault. I'm in love with her after all and I'm afraid that kiss only strengthened that feeling.

By now I don't have a single doubt, that she's the only person I'll ever love.

So that is another technically bad thing about the kiss since she'll never love me in return. But that doesn't change the fact, that I don't regret the kiss at all.

Only the letter could change that since I can't lose her from my life. Losing her wouldn't be worth that kiss no matter how incredible it was. I'd rather spend my whole with her, than have one kiss and never see her again afterwards.

But I do have to admit, that that was one hell of a kiss. Nothing will ever change that – unless it causes me to lose my Swan.

I don't even understand why I'm so terrified of facing her again and also the letter. She did ask me to kiss her, so I doubt, she's going to be incredibly mad at me. That's just not my Swan – getting mad at people for no reason.

She's not her mother after all, which is a very good thing. She's more like David and he's a very nice person. I like him and I think that feeling is mutual – at least for now. I'm not so sure how he'd feel about me, if he knew about the kiss. He's very overprotective, so he'll never like any boyfriend of Emma's.

Not that I'm insinuating, that I'm her boyfriend. I'm not – no matter how much I'd loved to be her boyfriend.

**…**

I sit in front of the letter for another hour or so, thinking about Emma, my love for her, the kiss and what could possibly be inside that letter, before I open it.

Surprisingly I pull out a letter made of fancy paper and my Swan's handwriting on it. She has a very nice handwriting. Far better than Liam's.

But why did she write to me herself? Her mother could never allow that, so did she change her mind? Can I visit my Swan more often again?

 

———

You’re hereby invited to the Royal Ball at the ball room in hot or of Queen Elsa’s visit. She is a guest of the Selection, so I, Emma of Misthaven, would like to dedicate this ball to her, while also giving the Selected a chance to live the life of a royal since one of them will be my future prince.

The ball is Friday and I’d be very glad if all of you can attend it.

You have to take your invitation with you and there’s one plus one for every invitation.

Your Royal Highness, Emma, Princess of Misthaven

 ———

 

 

 Oh, so it was only an invitation for a ball. And here I was thinking it was an actual letter from my Swan. I have no idea whether this is a good sign or a bad one. But I guess I'll figure it out on Friday since there's no way I'm going to miss an opportunity to see my Swan.

If she's mad at me because of the kiss, she'll probably ignore me all evening. But the chance, that she hates me is very slim since she sent an invitation to me. She wouldn't have done so, if she didn't want to see me.

That reliefs me a lot and I'm also very happy, that Elsa is here. She is a good friend of Emma and me. If I can't help Emma through this Selection due to my involuntary absence, Elsa is the second best person who can still manage to make my Swan at least a little happy.


	39. Chapter 39

**Elsa's POV**

_Friday_.

 

Tonight is finally the big ball in my honor. I've just left Emma's room since she has to do some last-minute checks, whether everything is ready for the big event. She actually has people for that, but Emma still likes to do these kinds of things on her own.

She always did and now she has another motivation: avoiding the Selection and the Selected, whom she refers to as idiots.

It pains me a lot, that she has to go through the Selection. When I first heard of it back in Arendelle, I thought it was a cruel joke. It seemed very odd since the newspapers made it seem like all of this was Emma's idea – even though the public does believe that, I never did. I know Emma almost better than I know myself, so I figured, she'd never enjoy a Selection.

I'm not happy to be right this time though, I'd rather be wrong and have Emma be happy. She's been through enough and deserves only the best, which is why I try to convince her, that her feelings for Killian are true.

I could always see their love for each other and it has only grown since I've last seen them. And if I can tell that while I don't even see them together, I'm sure how it looks when they are standing next to each other. It's probably as I said to her then, every blind person can see their true love.

Of course, I can't be sure, that it's true love, but I'm pretty certain of it. And even if it isn't true love, they'd still be happier together than they would ever be with anyone else.

That's why I've made it my mission to stop their stubbornness and get them to admit their love for each other.

The only problem is, that Emma is the most stubborn person in all the realms – next to her mother since stubbornness runs in the family – so I'll need help. Which is precisely why I'm standing in front of Rose's chambers right now. Emma send her away earlier since she thinks she doesn't actually need a maid, so Rose should be free right now to help me out. I've realized, that she wants Emma and Killian together just as much as I do, so I know she'll be very eager to help me.

I knock softly on the door and a moment later Rose opens it. She curtsies as soon as she sees me.

Rose: "Your Majesty, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Elsa: "There's no need to be so formal, Rose. I'm a lot like Emma, so you don't need to bother with the curtsies and titles. Just call me Elsa. We could be friends, if you liked – like Emma and you."

She nods and smiles apologetic.

Rose: "Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."

Elsa: "You didn't. Can I come inside?"

Rose: "Of course."

Rose moves away from the door and I enter her small room. She closes the door behind me.

Elsa: "So I've come to talk to you about Emma, actually."

Rose: "What about her?"

Elsa: "I want to her to admit, that she loves Killian. I think, they'd be very happy together and they make a cute couple, too."

Rose chuckles and her whole face lights up. So, I was right, she really does love them together.

Rose: "Good luck with that, they're just too stubborn for their own good."

Elsa: "I know, that's why I need your help. I'm sure together we can figure something out."

Rose: "What did you have in mind?"

Elsa: "I don't have anything in mind, yet, but I thought we could plan something for the ball."

Rose: "Killian is attending the ball?"

I nod at her and she smiles again. Maybe now she has an idea.

Rose: "Then we'll make them dance together. Or they could spend some time alone on one of the balconies or something. We can tell Emma, that we could shortly cover for her in case her mother asks about her whereabouts."

Elsa: "That's a great plan."

Rose: "Except the fact, that they'll never talk about their feelings for one another."

Elsa: "They will. Emma is confused as hell about that kiss, so there's no way they're just going to ignore it."

Rose: "Wait, wait, wait! What kiss?"

Elsa: "Oh, Emma didn't tell you? They kissed on Sunday."

A big smile formed on Rose's face and I could tell, that she felt like jumping through her room.

The only reason she doesn’t do it, is probably my presence.

This once again confirms, that even if the ball fails, Rose and I will manage to get Emma and Killian together. When I have to leave again and they're still not together, Rose will still be here. And she won't give up.

So no matter what happens tonight, Emma and Killian will be endgame since once they’re together, they’ll never let each other go.


	40. Chapter 40

 

 

 ** _Killian’s POV_**  

 

 _Friday._  

 

I spend most of Friday morning in a clothing shop, trying almost desperately to find the perfect outfit for tonight. I don’t even understand why I obsess so much over this right now since I usually never care much about my appearance.  

I’ve been to so many balls at Emma’s palace or other places with her, so I have enough outfits for these kinds of occurrences, but when I looked into my closet this morning, I realized, that none of them are good enough, so here I am, trying on outfit after outfit since none of them are good enough either. 

I shouldn’t obsess so much over it, it’s not like an outfit is going to change Emma’s opinion of me and suddenly make her fall in love with me. But I can’t help wanting to look good for her and maybe trick myself to feel worthy of her – not that I’ll ever be good enough for her. No one is ever going to be good enough for my Swan – especially none of the Selected. 

 

**…**

 

I get home and finish dressing just in time for the ball, which is probably good. 

Subconsciously I know, that I needed a distraction today because I’m very nervous. I’m going to see my Swan again in just a few minutes – for the first time after our kiss. And saying, that I don’t quite know how to act around her now is probably the understatement of the year.  

I just hope, that we won’t be too awkward around each other now. I need our friendship to remain just the way it’s always been – not that I’d mind being more than just friends, but that’s probably not going to happen.  

I’m not good enough for Emma and she knows that, too.

And even if I was, her mother would never let her be with me. So maybe we’re just not meant to be.

 

 **…**  

 

I arrive at the entrance of the ball room and the guard there glances at me weirdly. He must be new too since I’ve never seen him. Also, if he’d have been here for a while, I’d know him. I know all the guards since I used to spend almost every day here.

Guard: “No plus one?” 

Oh so, that weird look is actually supposed to be pity.

Not that there is a need to feel pity for me. I’m going to spent time with the princess. She’s the only one I need. If Emma wasn’t the hostess of this event, she’d be my plus one or probably the other way around. It’s always that way. She hates balls and says, that she wouldn’t survive either of them without my company.

Killian: “No. It’s just me.” 

I give him my invitation and enter the ball room, my eyes searching for Emma.  

As soon as I spot her my heart begins to speed up. She is currently dancing with one of the Selected, which she doesn’t seem to be too happy about. She frowning and scanning the room with her eyes.  

My heart speeds up even more when I realize, that she’s probably looking for me. Does that mean, that she feels the same for me as I feel for her? Love?

I approach her and she finally spots me too, leaving the Selected alone on the dance floor as soon as our eyes connect. It would probably be very funny to see his reaction to it, but I only have eyes for Emma.

We smile brightly at each other, while approaching each other quickly.  

Emma: “Hi. You’re here!” 

Killian: “I wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world.” 

She hugs me quickly and after we pull away from each other I look at her whole appearance for the first time tonight. Until now my eyes have been fixed to hers and I instant regret not completely looking at her, when I first spotted her.  

She looks even more beautiful today than any other day, if that’s even possible. It literally takes my breath away, which probably shouldn’t happen, when she can notice it. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable by letting her know about my feelings for her.

Killian: “You look stunning, Swan.” 

Emma: “You look rather dashing yourself.” 

She chuckles.  

We just stand there, looking and smiling at each other, until a new song starts. I see that as a chance to steal a dance from her or multiple ones, if I’m lucky.  

Killian: “May I have this dance, love?” 

I reach out my hand and she instantly takes it, pulling me to the dance floor.  

Emma: “Gladly.” 

It’s a slow song, so Emma and I just dance lazily wrapped up in each other’s arms. She has her head in the crook of my neck for the most part and breathes me in, which tickles, but I don’t mind.  

I could live through anything – any kind of torture etc – if it meant being able to hold Emma in my arms. Emma seems content, too.

We continue dancing slowly and closely for a few more songs, not saying a single word, but then a fast song comes up and we leave the dance floor. Emma keeps my hand locked tight with hers though like her life depends on holding on to me.

Emma: “I missed you.”

Killian: “I missed you, too.”

We stand awkwardly next to each other for a few minutes, so I decide to break the silence. I don’t want us to waste the little time we have together, so we should probably talk about the big elephant in the room.

Killian: “So about Sunday…”

Emma: “Not here. Let’s go to a balcony.”

She pulls me behind her towards the first door outside. The balcony is empty and Emma locks the door after us, so that our talk won’t be interrupted.

 


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, that I didn't update in so long, but I was busy because my grandma was in the hospital and I had to help my grandpa since he can't do much on his own anymore.

 

Emmas POV

_Friday_

 

Today I’ll finally see Killian again and that moment might just be a few seconds away since I’m about to enter the ball room.

Announcer: “Welcome our hostess of this evening, Her Royal Highness Princess Emma of Misthaven.”

I enter the room and everyone in there claps and shouts my name. I’d usually wave at them and smile, but right now I’m far too busy searching for my best friend in the crowded room.

After scanning every single face in that room for three times, I realize that Killian isn’t here yet. I hope he’s going to be here soon though. Every second he isn’t, I’m worrying that he might be mad at me for suggesting that kiss. Maybe he hates me now and will avoid me as much as possible.

I never meant for all of this to happen. I never meant to lose him, but I had to be stupid enough to kiss him. There are lines you shouldn’t cross with your best friend and kissing is definitely one of them.

My thoughts get rudely interrupted by no other than Killian’s brother Liam, who’s asking me for a dance. I say yes since it might help me get my mind off Killian. Another bonus is, that my mother sees me with the Selected. She’ll think, that I’m trying to make an effort, so maybe she’ll let me eliminate some more of them soon – preferably all of them.

Emma: “You don’t know by any chance whether Killian will be here tonight, do you?”

Liam: “I don’t see why he wouldn’t be here. He’d never miss a chance to see you, Emma.”

Emma: “I’m not so sure about that. At least not at the moment.”

Liam: “Did you two have a fight?”

Emma: “Kind of. I don’t know. It’s complicated and I don’t want to talk about the specifics. Especially not in here.”

Liam: “He’ll be here sooner or later, Emma. You’ve been best friends forever. That’s not a kind of friendship, that breaks because of a simple fight. Also, I know my brother quite well. He would never let you go willingly. You mean more to him than anything in the world.”

What is Liam trying to say? Does he think, that Killian might be in love with me?

That would be great since I’m certain, that I’m falling for him and I’m falling fast, so there’s no way that I can ever stop this or take it back ever again. Maybe I should just tell Killian how I feel since there’s going to be a point, when I won’t be able to be just friends with him – and I’m sure that day is approaching quickly. We’re way past `best friends` being a possibility.

 

…

 

I continue to dance with many of the Selected, they got me for one song each, but I’ve been ignoring them during those three minutes – each and every one of them. Instead of talking to them, I kept staring at all the entrances, hoping to see Killian walk by one of them. And until this moment he never did, but now he’s actually here.

I chuckle to myself and break into the greatest smile, while leaving the Selected and running towards my bestie. He approaches me just as quickly with an equally happy attitude, which proves, that he isn’t mad at me. I’m very glad about that and also relieved. I close the distance between us as soon as I reach him by throwing my arms around him.

As soon as our embrace ends, we stare into each other’s eyes, getting lost in them.

Emma: “Hi. You’re here!”

Killian: “I wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world.”

We hug again for a few seconds and then I see Killian taking in my whole appearance. I don’t think he notices himself, but his breath catches and his jaw hits the floor. And it was in that moment, that I realized, that Killian might really not just see me as his best friend. He’s falling in love with me just as much as I’m falling in love with him.

Elsa was right and I can’t believe how blind I’ve been for all these years.

Killian: “You look stunning, Swan.”

Emma: “You look rather dashing yourself.”

I’ve never seen this suit on him, so it must be new and I must say I wasn’t lying to him. He looks incredible. My heart begins to flutter as I take him in.

In an attempt to not let him know my thoughts, I chuckle even though neither of us has said anything funny.

For the next few minutes we just stand in front of each other as if we were the only two people in the world. We stare into each other’s eyes and smile brightly at one another. Our little bubble breaks when a new song starts and Killian ends the comfortable silence between us.

Killian: “May I have this dance, love?”

He reaches out his hand and I take it even before he finishes his question. It seems I’m quite eager to steal a dance or two from him. It’s a good excuse to be close to him in this crowded room. If we just stood here in an embrace, my mother would probably freak out tomorrow morning, but now she can’t. I mean she’s the one who is always going on about how rude it is to refuse a dance request.

Emma: “Gladly.”

He pulls me onto the dance floor and we dance lazily in each other’s arms. Around the second song I put my head in the crook of his neck and breathe in my favourite smell. I know how much this tickles him, but he doesn’t seem to mind, which is one of the million things I love about him. He’s the only person in the whole wide world, who always puts me first.

After a couple songs we leave the dance floor since a quick song starts and we’re not in the mood for that. I keep my hand locked tightly with his as if someone would take him away from me if I loosened my grip for just a second.

Emma: “I missed you.”

Killian: “I missed you, too.”

By now the silence between us isn’t nice anyone. It’s quite awkward and I figure that he doesn’t know what to say to me just as much as I’m clueless, but still he’s once again the one who speaks first.

Killian: “So about Sunday…”

And now we’re talking about the big elephant in the room. The whole reason, I’ve been so nervous about today.

He’s right though. We have to talk about our kiss eventually, so why not now? One thing is clear though: We can’t talk in here. We can’t risk anyone overhearing our talk since we’re not supposed to kiss each other or have feelings for one another. If my mother knew about us, she’d sentence Killian to death once again and this time she’d be deadly serious about it.

Emma: “Not here. Let’s go to a balcony.”

I approach the first door outside and pull him with me. As soon as we’re on the balcony, I lock the door after us. No one can walk in on this. Firstly, because we’re not supposed to have private talks at all and secondly because I don’t want us to get interrupted. We get interrupted far too often as it is.

 

 


	42. Chapter 42

 

Emma’s POV

 

_Friday_

 

Me and Killian are now all alone on the balcony and there is once again a tension in the air, that you could cut with a knife. We are both aware of the fact, that sooner or later we have to talk about this and a minute ago, we were ready for it, but now not so much. We still don’t know what to say to each other, even though the truth is undeniable and locked tight into our heads.

Emma: “So, what was it, that you wanted to say?”

I know this is mean, but I just can’t start this one. I’m still too afraid, that I might be wrong about Killian’s feelings for me and I don’t want to embarrass myself and lose him in the process of it.

Killian: “We should talk about Sunday – about what happened then – about the kiss.”

I give him a sign to continue. He was the one who mentioned the talk, so he should do the talking. It’s far easier for me this way.

Kilian keeps thinking for a moment, before taking a deep breath and beginning to talk.

Killian: “I know the kiss only happened because you didn’t want to give your first kiss to either of the Selected, so technically the kiss shouldn’t have meant anything more than that to either of us.”

Oh. So, I was wrong. He’s going to apologize about it soon, isn’t he? I was always wrong. He never loved me. I was just blinded by my own love for him, which tricked me into thinking, that he’s in love with me too.

How could I have been so wrong? Why did I let this happen? I should just stick with my walls, which I have built up in the presence of everyone but him. They never would have failed me as much as my heart has just now. With them, I never would’ve gotten hurt and my heart would still be whole.

I let this happen. All of this is my own fault.

Killian: “But – “

Wait a ‘but’? So, all that worrying was for nothing?

I guess I’ll never know what he was going to say next though since Killian gets interrupted by screams coming from the ball room. We must be under attack again judging by the noise.

Killian and I look at each other for a heartbeat before running back inside and sure enough the palace is under attack once again. The guests are all hunched together by the walls and in the middle of the room Regina stands in all her ugly glory, while shooting fireballs at the people. All the guards are lying on the floor, so they were already defeated by her, which means we have no source of protection.

Mine and Killian’s presence in the room changes nothing. Regina keeps on torturing the guests and that makes me so angry, that once again my magic goes out of control. Light floods out of my hands in Regina’s direction and my magic seems to disable her magic. As soon as she realizes that and sees me, she tries to throw a fireball at me, but her magic is still non-existent, so nothing happens.

For the first time my magic is actually working in a good way, but as soon as I think about how awesome it is to use magic for good, I lose control again. The ground begins to shake and I see the lamps crashing to the floor. One of them almost hits me, but luckily Killian tackled me to the side, so the lamp missed us for a couple inches.

Killian: “Emma stop this.”

Emma: “I don’t know how.”

I haven’t realized, that I’m crying, but my voice sure does sound like I am.

Killian: “I believe in you. You can stop this. You’re strong and smart. You’ll find a way.”

He wipes my tears away and his eyes show me more than words ever could how much he believes in me. It’s so overwhelming, that I trust him unconditionally. Instead of my fear, I focus on him and my love for him and soon after that the earthquake stops.

Killian pulls me to my feet and close to him, kissing my hair softly.

Killian: “I knew you can do it. I’m so proud of you.”

I’m totally at peace in his arms, that for a second I forget all about what just happened. But then reality hits me and I turn to Regina’s former location, but she’s gone. She probably got her magic back when I caused the earthquake and could escape.

Emma: “Regina’s gone.”

Killian: “It doesn’t matter, Emma. She will be defeated eventually. You did good today and that’s all that matters right now.”

I hug him tightly once again and believe every word he just said. I will defeat her. All I have to do is get my magic under control and I think I’m already on a good path for that. Whenever I’m around Killian I manage to control my magic, so maybe I can control it, when I think of him and something he’d say in the certain situation.

I’m once again at total peace in his arms until I see my mother approaching us. I’m so not looking forward to that discussion since I’m sure she’s not just coming here to check up on me. She’d never do that. My dad might.

Hopefully he will delay her madness for a little since he’s right after her.

 

 

 

 


	43. Chapter 43

 

## Emma’s POV

 

My mother approaches me and Killian quickly and determined. Surprisingly she doesn’t seem to be mad at me though. There is more of a glimmer of worry clouding her eyes.

As soon as my parents arrive, they hug me tightly. It takes me a moment to return the gesture since I did not expect this. I’d expect them to be angry with me for having magic and hiding it from them – and more importantly letting our people know about it just a second ago. My parents are very much aware of the hate of magic in this kingdom since they are the source of a lot of hate towards it.

David: “Emma, are you okay? Or did _she_ hurt you?”

The rage and resentment in his voice at the word ‘her’ left little to the imagination, whom he’s talking about. Let’s just say no one really is a fan of _her._

Emma: “I’m fine, dad. I’d say, that I caused more damage than the Evil Queen.”

I look around and point at the ruins of the ball room. All of this was caused by my earthquake. It’s all my fault. Luckily the ball room was originally build in the gardens, otherwise I’d have no home anymore, which could be a good thing though. Maybe my parents would let me stay with Killian then since there’s no way we can continue to host a Selection without a palace. And it would probably take far too long to fix the castle, to just put the Selection on hold.

Snow: “It doesn’t matter, Emma. It was self-defence. But since when do you have magic? Why did you never tell us?”

Of course, for a moment I was worried, that my mother actually cared about me, but once again it was just a façade. Now she’s right back to her old judgy self, telling me, that everything I do, I do wrong.

But I guess I have to answer her anyway. There’s no point in lying about it now.

Emma: “I discovered, that I have magic the evening Killian and I told you about the whole me-not-having-to-marry-anyone-if-I-hate-them-all thing.”

Aka the day Killian and I almost kissed in the hallway and my heart was exploding in my chest. When I look back at it, I regret not kissing him. We might already be in love with each other and in a relationship, if I would’ve just kissed him then. We might’ve been able to stop the Selection.

I was so stupid back then and stubborn as hell, but that’s not my fault since it runs in the family.

Back then, I never realized just how right Killian and I are for each other and how happy we could make each other, if we were together.

Emma: “My emotions were kind of intense that evening, so when a guard wanted to escort me to my room, I kind of freaked out and my magic got out of control.”

Snow: “Emma!”

And once again she’s mad at me even though as I already said, this wasn’t my fault. I had no control at all over my magic and up until then I didn’t even know, that I had magic.

Emma: “Don’t worry, he was fine. He just flew a little off the ground.”

My mother doesn’t seem convinced of this, so my dad came to my rescue by pulling her close to him.

David: “Just trust our daughter, Snow. She wouldn’t lie about this.”

Snow: “Whatever. So, you’ve had magic for that long and you never told us anything about it?”

Emma: “I’m sorry, mother. But I was scared, okay? You guys always picture magic as the worst thing in the world, so I honestly didn’t know how to tell you.”

I feel Killian’s hand on my back, giving me strength by his presence.

David: “We’re sorry, too, Emma. We shouldn’t have made you believe, that you couldn’t talk to us about this. Your magic isn’t evil like Regina’s and we trust you.”

Emma: “Thanks, dad. But I’m afraid, my magic isn’t 100 percent good either since I have no control over it.”

Snow: “But you stopped the earthquake on your own, so how did you do it? Maybe thinking about it is a step in the right direction. You’ll be able to control your magic eventually. You just have to practice.”

Oh crap.

What the hell am I going to tell her now? The truth would be, that Killian’s trust and belief in me can control my magic, but I doubt my mother will accept that answer.

Or maybe she would. If I tell her this, she might let me see him all the time again for security reasons. I should just tell her. What do I have to lose? She can’t sentence Killian to death for telling me, that he believes in me. That’s not forbidden. At least not yet.

Emma: “Well…I didn’t stop it on my own.”

David: “What do you mean, sweetie?”

Emma: “Killian helped me. He kept telling me, that he believes in me and that I can stop it and then it suddenly worked. Because his belief in me, caused me to have trust in myself. If it wouldn’t be for Killian, the earthquake probably wouldn’t have stopped by now and we’d all be dead.”

My mother looks annoyed at my admission like she’s about to say something, that she really doesn’t agree with.

Snow: “Well, then it’s probably best, if Killian stays close to you at all times until the Evil Queen is defeated. And you two should practice your magic. There is an abandoned stable near the castle, which you use for your training.”

 


	44. Chapter 44

_Friday_.

Emma’s POV 

 

 

As Killian and I make our way towards my room, I’m still in disbelief, that my mother actually lets us spend time together again. And not just a little bit, but every single second of every day. 

 

I squeeze Killian’s hand every few seconds just to make sure, that he’s actually here by my side and this isn’t the best dream I’ve ever had. In addition to that, I hold his hand so tight, that I doubt he’s still feeling his own hand. I’m probably killing it, but I can’t deal any other way right now. I’m terrified, that something will tear us apart again and it’s something I’m sick of. 

 

Emma: “Did this really just happen? My mother letting us be around each other again? Or was that all my imagination?”

 

Killian: “No, you didn’t make this up. It really happened. We won’t have to keep missing each other all week anymore.”

 

Oh. So, he missed me. That’s interesting. It might mean, that he really does feel the same as I do. We might end up together after all. 

 

As soon as we have the privacy of my room, I’ll bug him about what he was going to say. There was a ‘but’ and I damn well intend to find out what it was about. I won’t let him change his mind about telling me how he feels since I want us to be together but am too scared to reveal my love for him first. 

 

Emma: “So you missed me?”

 

I love teasing him since when Killian blushes his whole head is red. I’m not even kidding about that - his ears are turning red as I speak. It’s very adorable. 

 

Killian: “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

 

Emma: “I don’t know.”

 

Killian: “Didn’t you miss me?”

 

I did. More than anything in the world, but I won’t let him know that. His ego is already too big, and I love bugging him by not answering him. Sometimes he’s just too curious for his own good.

 

Emma: “Maybe. Maybe not. I guess you’ll have to figure that out yourself.”

 

Killian: “Come on, Swan. I told you, that I missed you and there’s no way you didn’t miss me.”

 

Emma: “Someone is having quite a big opinion on himself tonight.”

 

Killian: “Well I’m just reading your thoughts.”

 

He smirks at me and I punch him in a friendly way. We both laugh about our childish fights and hug. After that I intertwine our hands again and we keep walking towards my room. 

 

…

 

In my room we sit next to each other on the bed and start chatting. It’s easy like nothing ever happened between us, but something did happen and I’m tired of ignoring it. If he won’t bring up the topic himself, I’ll have to do it. I can’t wait any longer or my nerves might actually kill me. 

 

Emma: “So what did you want to say earlier on the balcony? Before we were interrupted?”

 

He scratches his ear, which is something he does whenever he’s nervous, so I must be right. If he wouldn’t have feelings for me, he wouldn’t be nervous now, would he? Because then nothing between us would change and there would be no reason to worry about losing me?

 

Or maybe I’m reading too much into this and he does think the kiss was a big mistake. Then he might be nervous because he’s scared it meant something to me, but not to him. 

 

Killian: “Oh, it’s nothing. You don’t need to worry about it. Everything’s alright.”

 

And now he’s avoiding the topic. That can’t be good news to me, can it? So, it’s probably the latter. But that doesn’t stop my curiosity anyway. 

 

Even if his answer might break my heart, I still need to know. False hope can be dangerous and it sure as hell isn't healthy. Also, I don’t want to have secrets with Killian. We’ve never had any before the kiss after all and I’d like that to be the case again. 

 

Emma: “You were going to say something though. It started with ‘but’ and I think you should tell me. We don’t do secrets, remember?”

 

Killian: “I don’t know, if telling you is a good idea, Emma.”

 

Emma. 

 

Crap. He never uses my real name, so this must be very serious. 

 

I can already see how heartbroken I’m going to be, but there’s still this tiny flicker of hope, that refuses to die out and it’s damn powerful, making me imagine Killian and I as a couple whenever I look at him. 

 

I need him to tell me the truth because otherwise I don’t think I can handle being around him anymore. 

 

Emma: “You can tell me anything. We’ve been best friends since we were little kids, so I doubt that there’s anything that could break us.”

 

Killian: “You’re right. Okay so here it goes...”

 

He takes a deep breath and takes both of my hands in his, while looking me deeply into the eyes. It makes it hard for me to concentrate on anything but his ocean blue eyes. But I try since I doubt he’ll say, whatever he’s going to say, more than once. I can’t miss it. 

 

So, I guess this is the moment of truth. In just a heartbeat, I’ll know whether he loves me or whether he doesn’t. 

 

Killian: “Our kiss on Sunday wasn’t meant to mean anything to either of us since we only did it because of the Selection, but I was wrong to think, that I could handle it without falling in love with you. I couldn’t because I’m sure I was already deeply in love with you before. I just never realized it until our lips met.”

 

My jaw hits the floor since I kind of expected him to say something else. Me and luck usually never get along too well, but right now that doesn’t seem to be the case. Not at all.

 

He loves me, and I doubt I’ve ever felt this happy before. He loves me, and I love him, which sounds like a fairy-tale only a thousand times more complicated because I’m sure my mother will be a problem in our relationship. But nothing is perfect, right?

 

I just won’t listen to her and that should help. I won’t let her jeopardize our relationship. 

 

Speaking of relationships, I should probably tell Killian that I feel the same since I’ve been quiet for quite a while and I can see, that he’s very worried right now, probably thinking that I don’t love him back. 

 

The problem is just, that when I try to speak, no sound comes out. It seems I’m quite literally at a loss for words, so I do the only thing I can think of to show him how I feel. 

 

I crash my lips on his and kiss him just as passionately as on Sunday. 


	45. Chapter 45

 

## Emma’s POV

 

_Friday_

I slowly disconnect my lips from Killian’s to catch a breath, but I’m not going away too far away from him. We keep our foreheads and noses pressed together and inhale each other’s breaths. My heart is beating so fast in my chest, that I’m afraid it might burst out of my chest any second.

Emma: “I love you, too.”

Then Killian pulls away from me and puts his hand on my cheek, looking me deeply into the eyes, while a small smile emerges on the corner of his mouth. He stares at me like he’s worried I’m not real and I’m going to disappear any second and he wants to memorize any feature of my face before that.

Killian: “Are you sure about this? If it’s not that way, you don’t need to lie about it, Swan. I didn’t mean to pressure you into anything by telling you. You won’t lose me just because you don’t see me this way.”

Oh. So, he’s not worried about me going anywhere. He just can’t quite believe, that our connection is real. I can’t blame him though since I feel the exact same way. I expect to wake up any second and realize, that all of this was a damn good dream and Killian doesn’t love me after all.

Emma: “You’re not pressuring me into anything. I never realized it either until Sunday, but I love you. I really do.”

I give him a short peck on the lips and smile brightly at him. I can see in his eyes, that he’s still not sure about all of this and that kind of makes me love him even more, which is weird since it should actually make me question his feelings for me. I know though, that he just wants to make sure I’m happy. He’s looking out for me and putting me first even if it means he won’t get his happiness.

It reassures me, that he’d never hurt me on purpose, which is probably why he’s the perfect man for me. If I’m a hundred percent sure about anything, it’s that I’ll never let him go. With anyone else I’d always get trust issues at some point, but with Killian that’s never going to be the case. With him I can always be myself without any doubts or worries.

The only problem we’ll ever have is going to be my mother. And it won’t be a small issue in our relationship, but a big one. She’s in love with the Selection and the Selected. She’ll never accept mine and Killian’s love. She’s probably going to try to break us up, but I won’t let her. We’ll find a way to be together without my mother getting between us.

Emma: “Stop worrying, Killian. I’m not the issue here, my mother is. But I don’t care what she thinks about us. I won’t sacrifice our happiness for her precious Selection. I’ll end it right now – “

I get up to do just that and am about to approach the door, but Killian grabs my hand and pulls me back onto the bed.

Killian: “I don’t think ending the Selection right away will work in our favour, Swan. Your mother and I had a talk right after she forbade us to see each other. She told me then, that she’s waited long enough for us to get together and that the Selection is her way of making sure to let us know, that it’s too late.”

What the hell?! She knew about our love even before we did ourselves. And she kept it a secret? With basically any other strange man, she tried to convince me to love them in order for me finally getting married. But that one time I actually have hidden feelings for someone, she keeps her mouth shut? She must really hate me.

Emma: “But I can’t just keep up with the Selection. That would feel like I’m cheating on you, even though I don’t have any feelings for either of the idiots, nor your brother.”

Killian: “I know this isn’t an ideal situation, but we have to get through it and I know we will. You and I together can manage anything, especially now, that I’m allowed to see you 24/7 again.”

Emma: “You’re right. If we’d just end the Selection now to be together, my mother would probably sentence you to die again and I don’t want to risk that. We’ll figure out a way to be officially be together eventually. I’ll make sure of that.”

I look deeply into his eyes before pulling his lips back to mine in a searing kiss. Soon we change into a lying position, but exactly in that moment someone decides to barge into my room.


	46. Chapter 46

## Emma’s POV

 

_Friday_

I look deeply into Killian’s eyes before pulling his lips back to mine in a searing kiss. Soon we change into a lying position, but exactly in that moment someone decides to barge into my room. I hear a shocked and surprised gasp and we instantly break away from each other hectically, fearing for the worst to happen, which is my mother standing right there in my doorway.

But luckily that’s not the case. As soon as I look at my door, I see a smiling Elsa and a shocked, but happy Rose staring right back at me. I never expected Rose to be surprised by something like this since she’s always been acting like Killian and I are practically dating already.

Elsa: “Sorry to barge in here. We just wanted to check on you, but we can come back later. Right Rose?”

Rose: “Yeah.”

I don’t want really to talk to them about all of this yet, but I can’t avoid it forever, can I? They won’t just let this go, so it’s better to talk to them right now than in the future, even if that means I’ll have less alone time with Killian right now. At least I have Killian by my side now, so they’ll be less annoying – hopefully.

Emma: “No, wait. You can stay.”

They stay right in the doorway though and the room is filled with an awkward silence. Luckily Killian changes that once again.

Killian: “I should get some of my stuff from the house since I’m staying here in the palace for a while. It’ll give you guys a chance to catch up.”

I don’t want him to leave, but it makes sense, that he would. I’m not even upset about it because of him. At least not that much since it’s not like I doubt he’ll be back soon. It’s just that I dread talking to Rose and Elsa alone right now. They were annoying before Killian and I were together, so how will they act now? It’s not like I can deny what happened to protect myself and if I’m being honest I don’t want to deny it either. It’ll be hard enough to act like I’m not in love with him in public.

Killian gets up and kisses me on the cheek before he leaves, which leaves me blushing extremely. Now I can just hope, that the other two didn’t catch my flushed cheeks or I’ll never hear the end of it.

As soon as Killian is out the door, my best friends run towards me and sit across from me on the bed. This already seems far too much like an interrogation, so I was obviously right about how excited they are – and how much their excitement will annoy me.

Elsa: “Spill!”

Emma: “What there’s nothing to talk about.”

Rose: “Wrong. There is, Emma. So, tell us everything that happened tonight. You owe it to me since I had to find out through Elsa, that you guys kissed last week.”

Right. I kind of hoped Rose would never find out. Hell Elsa wasn’t even supposed to know. Nobody was.

They both smirk at me and start to poke me, which is something I really hate. And they know this all too well. They’re just doing it to get information and I hate to admit it, but I cave fairly fast. I have an excuse though since I’m just as excited about all of this as they are.

Emma: “Okay. Okay. If you stop that, I’ll tell you everything.”

So, I do tell them everything what happened tonight. From the dancing to the rude balcony interruption and finally our talk just a few minutes ago. And I must say, that talking about it helps a lot. Until now I’ve felt like, I’ll wake up any second, but now it all seems real to me. I always thought, that something like this would scare the crap out of me, but it really doesn’t since I trust Killian more than anyone else. He’s my best friend in the whole wide world and being with him now, makes me feel safer than I’ve ever felt. I’m happier now, too. Honestly I’m doing better than I ever was.

By the time I finish my little story both Rose and Elsa have tears in their eyes and it looks like they’re smiling with their whole faces.

Elsa: “I’m so happy for you, Emma. Now you’ve finally found the person to share your life with and I’m so happy it’s Killian. You love each other so much and he’s the only one I trust enough with your heart. I mean you’re literally glowing, when you talk about him. It’s so adorable.”

Rose: “Yes. I’m glad, too. And now the Selection will finally be over, so you won’t have to be upset about it every day. It hurt a lot seeing you so sad daily and not being able to help you in any way.”

I sigh. I really do have the sweetest friends in the world even though they might annoy me at times.

I wish Rose was right this time. I wish the Selection would really be over, but that’s just a very nice dream right now. It’s still there and my mother won’t let it go as easily as she should, if she was actually a caring mother.

Emma: “Actually the Selection is still happening, Rose.”

Elsa: “What? Why? You don’t need it anymore. You can marry Killian now one day, when you’re both ready for that. You don’t need the Selected. It’s not like you two will break up in the near future.”

Emma: “I know. But my mother won’t agree with you. The Selection is her favorite thing in the world, so she won’t let it go that easily. That’s why Killian and I decided to have a secret relationship for now. I’ll keep following my mother rules and when the time comes, at which she’ll let me get rid of all of them, I’ll do that and then Killian and I can be together in public, too.”

 

 


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, that I haven't updated in so long. I had the worst case of writer's block and I'm stressed because of my A-levels. I hope I have more inspiration and time to write from now on, but I can't promise anything.  
> \- Lena

## Emma’s POV

 

_Saturday_

Consciousness starts to set in, while I feel a soft press of lips on mine. Killian and I haven’t been together for long, but I still recognise that it’s him without a second thought, so when he pulls away, I lean forward for a few seconds to give him another kiss.

Killian: “Morning.”

Emma: “Morning. What are you doing here? What if someone saw you enter the room? What if they told my parents?”

Killian: “Then, I have an excuse to be here. Your time is limited, and we should start training your magic as soon as possible. That was basically your mother’s idea, so let’s take advantage of it. Get ready, my princess, and when you’re ready, we’ll leave for the old stables. It’s a safe place to practice.”

He leans in close to my ear and whispers into it, before kissing me softly just behind the earlobe.

Killian: “Another bonus of the place is that no one ever really goes there, so we’ll have some alone time.”

I smile brightly at him and pull his face to mine once more before getting out of bed and into my bathroom to get ready for the day. I can’t remember ever getting ready as fast as I did just now.

 

**...**

 

We leave for the garden and the stables there in order to get a horse for our way to the old stables. Unfortunately, my father is there, but he’s nothing we can’t handle. As long as my mother doesn’t magically appear here, too, there shouldn’t be a problem.

Emma: “Hi dad.”

David: “Emma. Killian. What are you two doing here?”

He hugs me quickly and pats Killian’s shoulder. I couldn’t be happier about them getting along so well – not that my father would ever admit that they are friends, but they are.

Emma: “We’re going to the old stables to practice some magic. I don’t think we should waste any time. The quicker I learn to control it, the quicker we can maybe banish Regina and the Queens of Darkness.”

My father just nodded, before calling for a stable boy and asking him for two horses.

Emma: “Actually we only need one.”

Oh crap. I should’ve thought this through before opening my mouth. As far as everyone knows, Killian and I are just friends and friends don’t really share a horse, unless there aren’t two available.

And my father knows this, too, judging by his facial expression. Unless he’s just being his overprotective self.

Killian and I haven’t even been in a secret relationship for 24 hours and I might have already screwed everything up. I’ve already managed to make people suspicious. Now I can only hope that my father doesn’t share his suspicions with my mother out of his overprotectiveness. She’d probably kill Killian right in front of me and then me and then him again.

I can’t even think of a good excuse to get us out of this, but luckily Killian has my back. We really are a great team.

Killian: “We aren’t certain, whether Emma can handle her magic after yesterday and horses are smart animals. They could sense, if she didn’t have her magic completely under control, so it’s really far safer, if Emma and I share a horse. That way there’s no chance of the horse freaking out and throwing Emma off its back. We don’t want to risk Emma hurting herself, do we?”

I hope my father buys this story. It does make a little sense after all.

The king keeps looking suspiciously at us, but only for a few more moments. Then he smiles softly and pats Killian’s shoulder once more.

David: “It’s great to have you back in our life, Killian. When Emma is with you, I never have to worry about her getting hurt since you’d never let that happen. There’s no person I’d rather have my precious daughter be best friends with and spend most of her time with.”

Killian: “I’m honoured to get the chance to protect her again, your majesty.”

The stable boy arrives back with a beautiful white horse and my dad strokes its neck softly. He’s always been rather fond of horses and animals in general.

David: “Then I won’t delay you any longer. Have fun and good luck with the magic lessons. I believe in you Emma. If anyone can learn to control their magic, it’s you.”

My father hugs me once more, while cradling my head, before he leaves the stables and heads back to the palace.

Both Killian and I sigh. We’re relieved, that my father bought Killian’s story.

Emma: “I’m so sorry. That was close.“

Killian: “Don’t worry, my love. We’ve got this. There’s nothing that could keep me from you, so quit thinking, that you can lose me any second. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.”

I smile and lean forward to connect our foreheads. We stand there peacefully with each other’s foreheads touching for a few moments, before we both get on the horse and leave the palace behind.

As soon as the palace isn’t visible anymore, I tighten my hold around Killian’s stomach and give him a few kisses on the cheek. Then I lie my head down on his shoulder and just relax, wishing this ride never had to end and Killian and I could just run away together – never looking back and living happily ever after.

 


End file.
